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Fancy Words, Insects & Magic

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I’ve been a bit lax in noting notable sayings & doings this week. And I have a bad, although selective, memory  - which is half the reason for my doing this blog-hop, & actually my blog in general.

Ellie I think has produced her most comprehensive sentence yet: “Jake & Ellie like jumping in puddles”. Makes me proud!

And she also excelled herself in sophisticated use of language. Pointing to the Mummy’s juice she said: “Yours”. A possessive personal pronoun! See above for my reaction…

It’s fantastic that their language is coming on so well. Ellie is getting to be a little chatterbox, & Jake is a great talker too. His pronunciation & vocabulary aren’t as good but what he lacks there he easily compensates for with his sociability & use of signs & gestures. We feel like we have two little adults here with us now, not just cute but insensible little babies. We can actually have proper little conversations with them, it’s great!

Ellie often grabs my hand so I can join her in a “Tea Party” she’s having; Jake does too. He does so though often to show me something that he’s been trying to tell me about: for instance when in the garden he spotted a tiny caterpillar hanging on a thread from a leaf, which I think was cocooning itself, & a bumble bee he saw flying around.

I also get dragged off the sofa to do “Tree Fu”magic with him. Recently he seems to have decided that the moves are too fiddly, sits down & leaves me prancing about by myself, saying “Ouch” a lot… Kids, eh!

This is for Chris’ ’Things They Say & Do’ blog hop at her ‘Thinly Spread’ blog. Why not have a look at the other posts there, it’s a great read!

Memememe

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I’ve been memed, not once but twice. I love being memed! So thank you Tom Briggs at Diary of the Dad & Blue at bluebirdsunshine

These are the (combined) rules:

You must post the rules
The only rule of the blog memes is that you don’t talk about the blog memes
Thank the blogger who has awarded you and link back to them.
Post 12 (7) fun facts about yourself in the blog post
Answer the questions the tagger has set for you in their post and then create 12 new questions for the fellow bloggers you plan to tag
Tag 12 (5) people and link to them on your blog
Let them know you tagged them

It’s just possible that I might have made up 1 of the above rules

OK? Let’s go:

12 Fun Facts

1) “Fun facts about me” is probably an oxymoron

2) I like to use fancy-sounding, often obscure & sometimes completely made-up words to make myself seem more cleverer than I really am.

3) I like irony but I hate ironing

4) I have scars on my left forearm & left knee (bike crash*), right knee (surgery after a rugby injury) & the palm of my left hand (trying to open a can with a staysharp knife). It’s just occurred to me that my scars probably represent my life in microcosm…

5) Somehow, somewhen I my fractured left clavicle (collar-bone) & now have ruptured shoulder tendons as a result. I’ve had this for at least 4 years. It causes acute pain & restricted movement in arm & shoulder, both worsening. I was going to go into a rant about how shitty my local NHS hospital were in taking over a year in diagnosis & then – it appears – deliberately preventing me from having the op I need. And about how I think that this sort of thing is indicative of how the NHS badly needs radical reform, & how I have a deep, intense & entirely justified dislike of NHS Managers & some admin staff.  But then I remembered the ‘fun’ facts thing. So I won’t. Although I was going to refer you back to fact no. 1…

6) I use ‘fun facts about me’ memes to have a moan about my bad shoulder & the failings of the NHS.

Christchurch City (New Zealand) from the Port ...

Christchurch City (New Zealand) from the Port Hills. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

7) As well as my home town of Christchurch, New Zealand (yes, the one flattened by the massive earthquakes last year) I have lived in Chicago & Atlanta, USA; Brentwood, Essex; Wood Green, Green Lanes & Lewisham in London; Brighton in Sussex & Erdington, Birmingham. I am also about to move to south Wales from my current home near Birmingham

8) I regularly played club rugby with a bloke who went on to win the Rugby World Cup. Playing in my position, on the wing. And he wasn’t even quick back then! I’ve always thought that it should have been me. I’d hate him with a passion but he seems like a pretty decent bloke.

9) I sort-of hold the New Zealand 100m sprint record for under-14 boys. I always will as they changed the age criteria just after I broke it! 11.7 seconds, in case you’re wondering.

10) I used to write film reviews for a company magazine, & had my own film reviews website back when the word “blog” was just a twinkle in its creators’ eyes.

11) I once spent £100 on a taxi ride from London to Dorset. I was determined to visit my cousin & his family there for Christmas, I didn’t drive & I didn’t know that public transport virtually disappears on Christmas Eve. I think that may have been the best Christmas present that that cabbie ever had!

12) My 2-year-old son can Beat-Box. FACT

12) I am unusually anarchistic in my attitude towards numbered lists. And I believe that any number greater than 12 isn’t really worth bothering with.

*I’d say “bike accident” but it had more to do with stupidity than anything ‘accidental’. I was young…

12 Answers to 12 Questions

1) Where is the most memorable place you’ve ever been? Skinny-dipping with my wife on my birthday in a hot pool in minus 10 degrees on a mountain in Iceland

2) If you could change the end of any film, which would it be and how would you change it?  Mamma Mia. The end should be scrapped entirely. As long as ‘its end’ is defined as starting exactly 1 microsecond after its beginning.

3) What would be your dream job? Getting to scrap the ‘ends’ of really bad films

4) What is your favourite smell? I love the smell of burning celluloid in the morning

5) What is your greatest extravagance? Cream in my coffee. Several times a day. Every day

6) If you could be a condiment, what would you be and why? Salsa. Because people like to say “salsa”

7) Where do you stand on the dunking of biscuits? I stand as close to the biscuits as I can, so I can eat them

8) My colleagues Lee and Fran are being cheeky; which one should I slap? I cannot condone violence of any kind in any way. But you could slip laxatives into their coffees. They are both really annoying

9) What is your favourite scary movie? Mamma Mia. Anything so utterly execrable & yet so popular makes me fear for humanity ;)

10) If you had to read one book from your school days once more, which would it be and why? My head says George Orwell‘s ’1984′ but I think I’d find it too depressing to have confirmed how accurate were so many of its predictions for our society. I’d go with my heart then & reread ‘Puppet on a Chain’ by Alistair MacLean; because I remember enjoying it.

11) How much of your life did you spend on this meme? For this post I have carried out exhaustive research, both online & at the Library. I have searched my soul, wrung my hands & probed my conscience in anguish over & over again. I have lost track of the vast investments of time & energy I have made in the writing of these words.

12) Was it worth it, or do you hate me now? My life will never now be the same! And yes I do, but only on Mondays.

12 questions for the next victims participants to answer. 

1) Would you describe yourself as a ‘glass half-full’, ‘glass half-empty’, ‘just grateful to have a glass’ or ‘why isn’t this glass chrystal? And full of Cristal?’ type of person? And why?

2) How important to you in your blog writing is correct grammar, punctuation & spelling?

3) Jedward: Evolutionary throwback or the future of mankind?

4) While writing this post I came to see that my life could be, somewhat crudely,  summarised by my scars. Have you had any unusual insights into your life recently, & if so what? (That question almost sounds as if it could have come straight out of ‘Blind Date’. Sorry).

5) What are your pet hates?

6) What in your life most brings you joy?

7) Do you move around a lot, like me, or have you mainly lived in the same place?

8) Do you have a “It shoulda been me!” story? And if so, what is it?

9) What is your main claim to fame?

10) How long have you been blogging & what prompted you to start?

11) What is the most extravagant purchase you’ve ever made, not counting house or car?

12) If you were to enter Britain’s Got Talent what would your talent be?

You’re ‘It’!

If you feel that you have better things to do with your time I fully understand, & I apologise if you’ve already been tagged or even made a post for any of the memes that seem to be going around at the moment.

So, my Dirty Dozen:

BabberBlog
first-time-daddy
Here Come the Girls
SAHDandproud
Not Just Another Blog
Daddacool
daddy of two blog
Trouble Doubled
Chronicles of a Reluctant Housedad
Dad Who Writes
slightlysuburbandad
The Crumby Mummy

So go for it! It’s quite fun, honestly. And I’m looking forward to reading what you come up with :)

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The Things They Say & Do: Bum!, stairs & a stroller

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One afternoon this week the twins kept yelling at me repeatedly & excitedly what sounded like “Bum! Bum!”. This is odd even by their standards. I couldn’t work it out. I kept suggesting possible words that they might be saying, to which they responded “No!”,  then more “Bum! Bum!”, getting increasingly agitated. Eventually I figured out that it was a new cbeebies programme, ‘Tree Fu Tom‘. We’d watched the first one the day before & they absolutely loved it, jump-up-&-down-&-yell-with-excitement loved it. I’d kept it, in case of emergencies (as you do), but when I went to find it on the Box it wasn’t there! Apparently they’d asked the Mummy to put it on earlier, she’d watched it with them, didn’t like it & deleted it! Thanks! (I’ve kept all the episodes since; I quite like it too, but don’t tell anyone…)

We live in an odd house. Whaddya mean you’re not surprised?! It’s tall & thin – unlike me! – & has 3 storeys. The bedroom & nursery are on the top floor, the lounge & kitchen on the ground floor. We carry the twins all the way downstairs for their morning milk & breakfast, then usually back up again for a morning play & to dress them, then back down again ’til their bedtime. It’s OK when we’re both at home & we can take 1 each, but when I’m looking after them by myself it can be tricky. I have to carry 1 up or down then come back for the other. Almost always there’s grizzling & upset by whoever’s been left behind, although by the time I’ve come back they’ve usually calmed down. Thursday however I was getting ready to take them back downstairs. As usual I’d decided to take first the one who was most keen to go, this time Ellie. I explained to Jake, as I always do, that I was taking Ellie down then coming straight back for him. Instead of making a fuss he just sat there quietly, saying “Ellie then Jake. Ellie then Jake”. He was still sitting still, quiet & calm, when I came back up for him: what a little star!

On Friday they played together in the most independent & cooperative way we’ve yet seen. They were taking turns – that’s right, you read that correctly; I’ll write it again: taking turns - without any prompting at all from us, in getting into a stroller & pushing each other around. There also appeared to be a ritual involving a pretend onion on a plate which had to be carried by the occupier of the stroller & transferred with great solemnity as they swapped over. The Mummy & I had our flabbers truly ghasted & were very tempted to leave them to it, get a brew & go watch telly. But it was nearing their bedtime so we didn’t. I did take a stroller upstairs though so they could carry on!

Another eventful week! I’m looking forward now to reading about others’ in Chris’ ’Things They Say & Do’ blog hop at her ‘Thinly Spread’ blog. Have a look, it’s a great read!

And I’ve just realised, as now it’s past midnight, that’s it’s now their 2nd birthday! :)

Flying Solo

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On Thursday I looked after the twins for a full day on my own for the first time.

From 6.30 a.m. to 6.30 p.m., without a break.

The Mummy is still on Maternity Leave, but she wanted to go in to work to take part in interviewing for a senior post, someone she’d be working closely with. Obviously she wanted to have a say in who it would be.

I’ve worked in the high-stress, competitive environment that is the City, & in pressurised, busy restaurant kitchens. But this child-care is by far the most demanding job I’ve ever had!

So: parents & carers, especially you Mothers, take note: the next time someone (usually a smug bloke, right?) implies that you’ve got it easy & that you should try working in a ‘proper job’ (whatever that is) – just send them to me, OK?

Jallie decided to make it extra hard for me by, unusually, napping at different – & odd - times. I wonder if the disruption of the Mummy not being around at all had unsettled them, although generally they were in a good mood. Usually you can count on having at least a break in the afternoon & often also the morning as they nap. Not a bit of it for me!

Feeding them both at once (before their morning nap) was difficult. I somehow managed to get them on a knee each, wrapping an arm around them & holding a bottle in each mouth. (I wonder if we’ll eventually evolve an extra arm or 2? I sure could do with that!). I then managed to lower Jake into a cot, then Ellie into the other. She wasn’t happy, so I picked her up again & lay with her on a futon mattress we’ve laid on the bedroom floor. She fell asleep almost straight away. This is a girl who really needs company!

After making sure the room was safe I went back to Jake, who was grizzling. I tried to settle him on the spare bed but he just wasn’t interested. So he stayed up & we played. Ellie ended up sleeping for nearly 2 1/2 hours – incredible!

Lunch was late because of this, & they ate well. Jake! He was actually falling asleep in his high-chair! His poor little head kept falling onto the tray, messy as it was. He’s never done that before, nor has Ellie! So I had to unstrap him, leaving Ellie alone (which she loathes), take him back upstairs & settle him in a cot. He went down straight away, fortunately.

Back to Ellie to finish her lunch, then I even managed to clear up & load the dishwasher! Then into the lounge for some play (while I had the cricket on :) ).

Jake however only slept for half an hour. When he awoke I had to give him the rest of his lunch. Because the kitchen/diner floor is slate & too hard for just-walking babies to fall on, if I was to feed Jake in there I’d have to strap Ellie back in the high-chair. Without more food, I’d give that about 2 minutes before grumpiness ensued. So that was out. I ended up carrying a high-chair into the lounge & feeding Jake there while Ellie played happily on the floor, with a snack so she didn’t feel too left out. Everyone wins!

No-one wanted an afternoon nap! Except me. I actually ended up napping on the nursery floor, while energetic twin babies climbed & jumped all over me. I had to lie on my side in order to avoid being choked & castrated…

Up until then I’d been thinking that despite everything it was going remarkably well, much easier than I expected! I just conked out. In hindsight I think I was starting to get this lurgee that’s been going around, a congesty sinnussy thing; I had a temperature the next day.

Tea is normally at 5pm. Ellie fell asleep on my shoulder at 4.30. Great…

She lasted 45 minutes, but it again meant that their meal was late, although – again – it went surprisingly well.

After tea we played until the Mummy came back at 6.30. Boy we we glad to see her, especially Jake! I don’t think I’ve ever seen him so excited! He kept leaping on her, screeching with excitement, turning around, & then doing it again. Ellie of course was also really pleased, but in her typically gentler way :)

I had a brief, much welcome, break then we settled them to bed for the night – thankfully they both went down quickly.

We live in a tall, thin 3-storey house. The nursery, cots & changing table are at the top; kitchen/diner & lounge at the bottom. I lost count of the number of times I carried them, 1 at a time of course, up & down the stairs. I was shattered! My arms &  shoulders still ache. Although this lurgee I’m sure has a lot to do with that.

We’re planning to work part-time on alternate days come April, so I’ll have to get used to this. I really need to figure out ways to make it easier though.

I’m thinking Bungalows. Yep, a Bungalow would be a great. Anyone got one they want to sell?

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.:Proud Mummy:. (solijournal.wordpress.com)

It’s Just Not Healthy!

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As we were trying to get ourselves & the twins ready to go out to Twins Club this morning we had a ‘phone call. It was from a very smug Doctor from Birmingham Children’s Hospital, responding to a message we’d left

- in November.

She seemed to think that this was perfectly OK, & only apologised when pressed. It was about trying to get the promised follow-up appointment that they seemed to have forgotten for Jallie’s reflux problems.

They’re OK now, basically because they’re several months older!

Sadly this level of dis-service, incompetence & rudeness seems to be considered acceptable, even the norm for the NHS; at least in my neck of the woods.

The human shoulder joint

Image via Wikipedi

Anyone who has been reading my “Dear So & Sos” will know that I’ve been having huge problems trying to get a much-needed shoulder operation done (ruptured tendon, probably the result of a fractured clavicle). It’s been at least 2 years – to be honest I’ve lost track – since I first went to the GP about it. After referrals, physio, X-rays, lost x-rays, redone x-rays, a scan, consultations I finally got a date for it: June last year. Unfortunately in the time they took for all this to happen my wife had become pregnant & given birth to twins, then 3 months old!

Even with the 2 of us at home 24 hours we were struggling. There was no way I could just ‘take time off’ for 6 weeks, even with 1 arm available. So I had to postpone & was given a Pre-Op Assessment for early September, which I passed, with the Op a month later.

3 weeks later though I’d come down with a seasonal allergic catarrh & chesty cough. Having been told I shouldn’t have the Op if I had a chest infection, I spent an incredibly frustrating week of ‘phone calls where I was transferred to every department & back again, messages left on voice-mails, many “I’ll ‘phone you back” lies & still I couldn’t find anyone who could advise me as to whether or not I should proceed. The day before the Op I finally got to speak to a Pre-Op Nurse, who said I shouldn’t. I then phoned the Waiting List Co-ordinator for the millionth time, who then had a go at me for leaving it so late to cancel! She’s lucky she wasn’t within my ‘phone throwing range. At least she didn’t transfer me to Cardiac that time, although I was getting to the point where I needed to be.

I was postponed ’til  November, then December, then November again. Lots more ‘phone calls & aggravation. Unfortunately by November I was still chesty: bumped again! Patient Liaison told me that they thought it was a deliberate scam just to clear room on the waiting lists.

More ‘phone calls, transfers etc. etc. later & I was given appointments to see the Anaesthetist & the Surgeon on December 20th & 22nd. They both cleared me immediately, & I was told that I was at the top of the waiting list.

A month later & I still didn’t have a date. I had made it clear over & over that January was the latest I could have the Op due to ending parental leave & looming work commitments. More ‘phone calls, aggravation, less hair & more wrinkles later & I was finally given another Pre-Op for: February 1st! We’d actually managed to push the deadline back a month so February would have OK,  just. What Op date did they give me? March 22nd! 3 months after being cleared by the Surgeon, nearly 5 months after the last Op date!

I’ve given up.

The incompetence, stupidity, callous bureaucratic indifference & rudeness I’ve encountered has been staggering; bad even by British business standards. To stay I’m p*ssed off about this is 1 of the century’s understatements. My shoulder is painful & getting worse, & I’m having to carry two increasingly heavy & active babies around, & up & down 2 flights of stairs several times per day.

I am aware that there are many much more badly affected than me: people, including babies, have died needlessly due to negligence & incompetence here.

Even so, the NHS has badly let me down.

Sadly in my experience this is pretty typical NHS. Its clinical staff are among, if not the, best in the world; the admin & managerial staff are mostly utterly useless.

Believe it or not the point of this post isn’t just to have a rant. From where I’m sitting it’s clear that the NHS – to use a phrase from the last Government – is not “fit for purpose”. It needs radical reform.

I know the coalition Government are shaking things up; to be honest I don’t know the details. What I do know is that its hard to find anyone who thinks they’re doing the right thing.

Please don’t misunderstand me: free universal health care is something this country should always be proud of; an example to, & often the envy of, the world.

But that’s not much good to me when I can’t get the operation I badly need, or to the thousands of others who have had similar or worse experiences.

In its present form it’s just not working. What’s the solution? I don’t know. But it has to change.

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A Positively Positive Post? Possibly

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This week for me has been largely about being positive. (And no, I haven’t suddenly turned into a Life Coach).

Things with Jallie are great at the moment; they seem to be competing with each other to walk / talk / run / sing / dance / somersault / write novels / cut the deficit / bring world peace. (Some of those may be slight exaggerations). Every day they seem to come up with something new.

Other things though: not so good. In fact, a bit crap. Things that could easily get me down, & have at times.

So I read Mari’s ’30 Posts of truth – Something you love about yourself‘ at her blog ‘Mari’s World’, part of a project initiated by Kirsten at ‘A Karma Project‘. In her post Mari mentions how 1 of those things is seeing the positive in people.

Then I read Tim Brownson’s ’50 Reasons Why I Suck’ at his ‘A Daring Adventure’ blog. (And yes, he is a Life Coach, but a really good one). The post was a particularly devious way of getting his readers to think of something that they’re great at. He’s great at that sort of thing…

From Kirsty at Imperfect Pages’ ‘Imagination and a Very Cute Baby’ I learnt about Clare Grant’s ‘3 Beautiful Things‘ concept of every day posting 3 things that have made you happy in that day. So I blatantly copied Kirsty’s idea of setting up a Posterous blog for exactly that.

As you may have guessed I’ve been catching up on blog reading a lot this week!

I generally think of myself as a positive person; I at least try to be about my own life. If I’m cynical about something it’s only because I’m being realistic…

I must admit, the main problem I’ve had with my 3BT blog is keeping the list down to just 3 per day. And yes, I realise that could be quite annoying ;)

So how about you? Are you ‘glass half full’ or ‘glass half empty’? Or are you like me & have trouble remembering which is which, & just pleased to have a nice drink?!

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It’s About That Time Isn’t It?

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A Danish Christmas tree illuminated with burni...

Image via Wikipedia

We’re about 6 weeks into the new year, the middle of February. Most of us are back at work or whatever our usual daily grind routine is. Long behind us now are thoughts of presents & stockings*, jolly fat bearded men dressed in red**, tinsel, baubles, decorated trees, reindeer, wall-to-wall chocolate, competing with the neighbours to be the first house to simultaneously drain the National Grid & be seen from Space, fighting with drunk Aunties who insist of cheating at Cluedo (I mean really: who cheats at Cluedo?!)***, & dreams of a White Christmas.

Life for most of us has pretty much returned to normal after the mad excitement (or otherwise) of the holiday season.  Plenty of time.

When / if we think about it some of us may be pleased & annoying, others of us disappointed & annoyed.

What am I on about? New years’ resolutions!

By now I reckon those of us who made any will have figured out if we’ve been able to keep them or not.

I, as I often do, found myself doing it backwards****. I didn’t resolve to do anything differently, but found myself doing things differently anyway & kind of realised I was acting out my non-resolutions. I then wrote about them, as you do.

So how am I doing?, I hear you cry.

I’m still not active on twitter, apart from posting links to blogs (yes, mostly mine). TICK

I’m using facebook more. Although not much more. And the main family members I have who are there just don’t use it that much! HALF TICK

Blogging. Most of any spare time I’ve had to myself this year has been spent blogging. I’ve found, read  & subscribed to loads of great blogs.  I’ve taken part, both in posting & reading / commenting, in great linky blog-hops like The Gallery & Silent Sunday. I’ve Gok Wanned my blog, & learnt a few tricks of the trade. Although the main reason I blog is for my own enjoyment, it’s nice to know that others appear to enjoy it too, & my posts have had many more views & comments than last year, & more subscribers. (Thank you). I managed nearly a post a day in January, although I wasn’t aiming for that. I think then that that’s a TICK

I’ve realised though that I simply can’t maintain this pace! I’m pretty sure that in 1 weekend I read & commented on every single post in that week’s Gallery & Silent Sunday. Some of you may have noticed that I’ve been commenting on blog posts from a week ago & longer: that’s because I’ve fallen behind in the blogs that I subscribe to, & I do like to read every one. And that’s just the email subs, I’ve hardly looked at my Yahoo Reader! (I vastly prefer subs by email, by the way; if the option is there I take it. I find RSS annoying by comparison). Also: I’m tired. And there are some signs of writer’s block. And I have a sore arm. And… (internal censor: Shut Up!)

The upshot: something’s gotta give. I can’t stand to be anywhere near my TV in case I glimpse its “Why are you neglecting me; I thought you were my friend?!” accusatory stare. And I miss playing Guild Wars.

I will definitely Carry On Blogging though, just maybe not as fervently.

So, all in all, I reckon I get a ‘B’ for my early-year non-resolution-keeping exam.

And you, dear reader…?

* Well, except it was Valentine’s day yesterday…

** ditto…

*** Sorry, getting a bit too personalised there

**** Well, it was – oh, never mind


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Dear So & So: Violence, Legal Action & Security. Plus Some Nice Birdies

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Dear So and So...

Dear Jallie babies

Thank you for respecting my request for a lessening of the bollocks-kicking activity. I think I’m on the mend now.

However when you wake up overnight & we’re good enough to let you sleep with us, please don’t wake me up at 5am with kung-fu kicks to my head.  Not hitting me while I’m trying to get you back to sleep would be nice too. And I know it’s with open palms, but it still kinda hurts.  (Yes, I’m looking at you, Jake…).

Love,

Bruised Daddy

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

NHS logo

Image via Wikipedia

Dear Good Hope Hospital

I think a rebranding exercise is in order, don’t you? You need a brand, an identity, that more accurately reflects who you are & what you have to offer the British public.

I suggest: “No Hope Hospital”.

Or how about “Bloody Hopeless”?

I even have a slogan worked out for you. Writ large over your front entrance: “Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here”.

Otherwise  someone may sue you under the Trades Descriptions Act.

It won’t be me ‘though: I’m already busy suing you under every other Law I can think of, you nasty psychopath.

You are a disgrace. It’s places like you that give the NHS a bad name…*

Sore Daddy. But you may call me “The Plaintiff”

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Chris Packham

Image via Wikipedia

Dear Chris Packham & the Autumnwatch team

Thank you for your earlier suggestions for bird-foods for this time of year. They’ve gone down very well here, especially those niger seeds.

Did you mention sunflower hearts too? Also mixes specifically for ground-feeding birds? They’re also very popular here.

There are a lot of happier & less hungry birds here now thanks to you, & to shops like Wilkinsons & Tesco who stock their food

Birdy Daddy

_______________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Dear Jallie

Sorry to bother you again.

Just an update on the security situation.

We’ve got some nice new door gates so we don’t keep having to keep all your doors shut, shutting out that nice shiny light that you like & making us all feel a bit claustrophobic. Or piling doorways with Pampers box bunkers  that would make a World War 1 soldier proud, or your old Moses basket full of toys. Especially as you eventually seem to be able to figure out how to get through them. You little monkeys!
We also now have bed-guards, so we can all co-sleep together instead of Mummy & Daddy having 1 of you each surrounded by, admittedly impressive,  pillow fortresses. If you rolled over onto a wooden floor you really wouldn’t be very happy, trust me! And neither would we.

Now, I know you don’t like being penned in; but it’s for your own safety, honestly. One day you’ll understand.

Also: I’m nearly finished converting the storage room into a big old play room: you’ll love it, believe me!

Love,

Safety-conscious Daddy

"We shall, we shall be FREE!!"

* I have to point out that whenever we’ve had problems or health concerns with Jallie they’ve been excellent. And the surgical team who delivered them were outstanding. So I guess they’re not all bad. My main problem is with its administration & the admin staff; they’re just abysmal.

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7 Things You Didn’t Know About Me, But Were Afraid To Ask

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Apparently there’s been a big old game of tag going on in the blogosphere tonight while I haven’t been paying attention.

The idea is to list “7 things you never knew you wanted to know about me”

I’ve been tagged by the lovely Mañana Mama, who seems to think that my 7 will be more interesting than hers. Not sure why; I may have to disappoint…

So anyway, here goes:

1) I hold a New Zealand sprint record that will never be broken: under-14 boys 100M. They changed the age criteria just after I set the record (11.7 sec’s in case you’re wondering).

2) I played club rugby as a right winger, & scored lots of tries. Our First 5/8 (fly-half) went on to play in the New Zealand All Black team who won the first ever Rugby World Cup. On the wing – MY POSITION. He wasn’t even fast back then. Probably because I stopped growing (vertically) at 14 & he didn’t. I’d hate him with a deadly passion, but he seems like a decent guy.

3) I got married in Brighton Pavilion. By a happy coincidence so did my wife.

4) I am afraid of heights. Probably dates to when I was a young boy & fell off the asymmetrical bars at a gymnastics club.

5) It was therefore the obvious thing to honeymoon by walking the Inca Trail to Machu Picchu, climbing to over 4000M (that’s 4 Kilometres – UP). Plus cruise around the Galapagos Islands, stay overnight on an island in Lake Titicaca & spend several nights in the Amazon Jungle. I got mugged, losing my passport & wallet, got severe altitude sickness, was partially eaten alive by horse-flies & nearly missed my flight back home. It was great! I wrote about it briefly, with a couple of photos, here.

I was hoping to use an Inca Trail photo for Tara Cain’s Gallery on the theme of Mother Nature. But 1) it’s analogue (my digi. camera broke), & 2) I can’t find it. :(

6) I have a fractured left collar-bone (clavicle), a ruptured tendon in my left shoulder, a detached tendon in my right bicep & arthritic fingers. And I’m not even that old – honest!

7) I have a scar on my palm where I nearly severed my thumb trying to open a tin with a knife. A World Cup had just started so I was in a hurry. I also have scars on an inner elbow (bike accident) & knee (surgery after a rugby injury). No photos, sorry…

Still reading? Well done!

So now I have to nominate some other bloggers. I think we should get some more of the boys in, so I’m going for:

Mr Baby Food & Diesel,

Him Up North &

Dan at All That Comes With It. YOU’RE IT!

Also, because she has obviously had an eventful life, & because she asked so nicely, fellow parent of twins Mari from Mari’s World :)

You know who I’d really love to hear from though, but it’s probably a long-shot:  the weird, wonderful & (in)famous Bloggess. Here’s hoping…

UPDATED: I’m delighted to be able to say that I’ve found the Inca Trail photo I was after & have had it & the others in that roll processed digitally. I hope to make my contribution to the Mother Nature Gallery tonight (Friday 21st). I’m doubly pleased about this as they are some of the best photos I’ve ever taken :)

UPDATED: A day later than planned, my Gallery post is here

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Dear So & So: Coughing, Rubbish, Dirt, Yelling & Kicking. With Cupcakes

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Dear Jake

I hate you coughing at night: please get better. You & your sister are welcome to sleep with Mummy & Daddy any time you like if it makes you feel better.

Love, Daddy (& Mummy)

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Dear ‘family who stayed with us this week’:

Thank you for your company, & for your help with the babies, & for your cooking & cleaning. But especially for the cupcakes.

Love, grateful me

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Dear Birmingham Council

Well done for finally collecting our rubbish. Although I do like to think it was because I yelled at you & threatened all sorts of legal action.

Now: the recycling?

Slightly less smelly me

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Dear neighbours’ contractors

Well done for finally filling in the ditch you dug in my front garden. Although I think it was because I yelled at you &… well, you get the idea.

And you were so smegging polite I couldn’t even be mad at you

Relieved me

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Dear Hospital

Still waiting for a date for my Op. Looks like my yelling at you wasn’t enough. Playing hardball eh? Well I feel a strongly worded letter coming on! So there!

Still sore me

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Dear babies

Thanks for not kicking me in the bollocks recently

Slightly less sore me

Dear So and So...

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