I think I’m in serious danger of being outsmarted by a 2-year-old

Yesterday the twins had a late, long nap so we let them stay up a bit later than usual.

We were having a great time with a music DVD that I’d picked up for a song at the local garden centre –  possibly the best £2.99 I’ve ever spent – but it was time to go to bed.

The Mummy & Ellie had gone upstairs & I was right behind them. Jake however – as usual – didn’t want to stop what he was enjoying doing & was refusing to go with us.

So he called up to me: “Daddy! Come downstairs!”.

“No, Jake: it’s time to go to bed”.

“No, Daddy! You’re a boy, I’m a boy. I’ve got a willy, you’ve got a willy: come downstairs with me!”.

Sexual politics? And he’s not even 3!

I think I’m in trouble here…

Memememe

I’ve been memed, not once but twice. I love being memed! So thank you Tom Briggs at Diary of the Dad & Blue at bluebirdsunshine

These are the (combined) rules:

You must post the rules
The only rule of the blog memes is that you don’t talk about the blog memes
Thank the blogger who has awarded you and link back to them.
Post 12 (7) fun facts about yourself in the blog post
Answer the questions the tagger has set for you in their post and then create 12 new questions for the fellow bloggers you plan to tag
Tag 12 (5) people and link to them on your blog
Let them know you tagged them

It’s just possible that I might have made up 1 of the above rules

OK? Let’s go:

12 Fun Facts

1) “Fun facts about me” is probably an oxymoron

2) I like to use fancy-sounding, often obscure & sometimes completely made-up words to make myself seem more cleverer than I really am.

3) I like irony but I hate ironing

4) I have scars on my left forearm & left knee (bike crash*), right knee (surgery after a rugby injury) & the palm of my left hand (trying to open a can with a staysharp knife). It’s just occurred to me that my scars probably represent my life in microcosm…

5) Somehow, somewhen I my fractured left clavicle (collar-bone) & now have ruptured shoulder tendons as a result. I’ve had this for at least 4 years. It causes acute pain & restricted movement in arm & shoulder, both worsening. I was going to go into a rant about how shitty my local NHS hospital were in taking over a year in diagnosis & then – it appears – deliberately preventing me from having the op I need. And about how I think that this sort of thing is indicative of how the NHS badly needs radical reform, & how I have a deep, intense & entirely justified dislike of NHS Managers & some admin staff.  But then I remembered the ‘fun’ facts thing. So I won’t. Although I was going to refer you back to fact no. 1…

6) I use ‘fun facts about me’ memes to have a moan about my bad shoulder & the failings of the NHS.

Christchurch City (New Zealand) from the Port ...

Christchurch City (New Zealand) from the Port Hills. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

7) As well as my home town of Christchurch, New Zealand (yes, the one flattened by the massive earthquakes last year) I have lived in Chicago & Atlanta, USA; Brentwood, Essex; Wood Green, Green Lanes & Lewisham in London; Brighton in Sussex & Erdington, Birmingham. I am also about to move to south Wales from my current home near Birmingham

8) I regularly played club rugby with a bloke who went on to win the Rugby World Cup. Playing in my position, on the wing. And he wasn’t even quick back then! I’ve always thought that it should have been me. I’d hate him with a passion but he seems like a pretty decent bloke.

9) I sort-of hold the New Zealand 100m sprint record for under-14 boys. I always will as they changed the age criteria just after I broke it! 11.7 seconds, in case you’re wondering.

10) I used to write film reviews for a company magazine, & had my own film reviews website back when the word “blog” was just a twinkle in its creators’ eyes.

11) I once spent £100 on a taxi ride from London to Dorset. I was determined to visit my cousin & his family there for Christmas, I didn’t drive & I didn’t know that public transport virtually disappears on Christmas Eve. I think that may have been the best Christmas present that that cabbie ever had!

12) My 2-year-old son can Beat-Box. FACT

12) I am unusually anarchistic in my attitude towards numbered lists. And I believe that any number greater than 12 isn’t really worth bothering with.

*I’d say “bike accident” but it had more to do with stupidity than anything ‘accidental’. I was young…

12 Answers to 12 Questions

1) Where is the most memorable place you’ve ever been? Skinny-dipping with my wife on my birthday in a hot pool in minus 10 degrees on a mountain in Iceland

2) If you could change the end of any film, which would it be and how would you change it?  Mamma Mia. The end should be scrapped entirely. As long as ‘its end’ is defined as starting exactly 1 microsecond after its beginning.

3) What would be your dream job? Getting to scrap the ‘ends’ of really bad films

4) What is your favourite smell? I love the smell of burning celluloid in the morning

5) What is your greatest extravagance? Cream in my coffee. Several times a day. Every day

6) If you could be a condiment, what would you be and why? Salsa. Because people like to say “salsa”

7) Where do you stand on the dunking of biscuits? I stand as close to the biscuits as I can, so I can eat them

8) My colleagues Lee and Fran are being cheeky; which one should I slap? I cannot condone violence of any kind in any way. But you could slip laxatives into their coffees. They are both really annoying

9) What is your favourite scary movie? Mamma Mia. Anything so utterly execrable & yet so popular makes me fear for humanity ;)

10) If you had to read one book from your school days once more, which would it be and why? My head says George Orwell‘s ’1984′ but I think I’d find it too depressing to have confirmed how accurate were so many of its predictions for our society. I’d go with my heart then & reread ‘Puppet on a Chain’ by Alistair MacLean; because I remember enjoying it.

11) How much of your life did you spend on this meme? For this post I have carried out exhaustive research, both online & at the Library. I have searched my soul, wrung my hands & probed my conscience in anguish over & over again. I have lost track of the vast investments of time & energy I have made in the writing of these words.

12) Was it worth it, or do you hate me now? My life will never now be the same! And yes I do, but only on Mondays.

12 questions for the next victims participants to answer. 

1) Would you describe yourself as a ‘glass half-full’, ‘glass half-empty’, ‘just grateful to have a glass’ or ‘why isn’t this glass chrystal? And full of Cristal?’ type of person? And why?

2) How important to you in your blog writing is correct grammar, punctuation & spelling?

3) Jedward: Evolutionary throwback or the future of mankind?

4) While writing this post I came to see that my life could be, somewhat crudely,  summarised by my scars. Have you had any unusual insights into your life recently, & if so what? (That question almost sounds as if it could have come straight out of ‘Blind Date’. Sorry).

5) What are your pet hates?

6) What in your life most brings you joy?

7) Do you move around a lot, like me, or have you mainly lived in the same place?

8) Do you have a “It shoulda been me!” story? And if so, what is it?

9) What is your main claim to fame?

10) How long have you been blogging & what prompted you to start?

11) What is the most extravagant purchase you’ve ever made, not counting house or car?

12) If you were to enter Britain’s Got Talent what would your talent be?

You’re ‘It’!

If you feel that you have better things to do with your time I fully understand, & I apologise if you’ve already been tagged or even made a post for any of the memes that seem to be going around at the moment.

So, my Dirty Dozen:

BabberBlog
first-time-daddy
Here Come the Girls
SAHDandproud
Not Just Another Blog
Daddacool
daddy of two blog
Trouble Doubled
Chronicles of a Reluctant Housedad
Dad Who Writes
slightlysuburbandad
The Crumby Mummy

So go for it! It’s quite fun, honestly. And I’m looking forward to reading what you come up with :)

Saturday is Caption Day! #3

Got a witty, profound or just plain silly caption for this picture? Then leave it in the comments below!

Then click on the little boy’s head here & you will be magically transported to the funsome Mammasaurus’s blog for many more pictures crying out for a witty / pithy #satcap caption. Have fun, I know I do :)

Saturday Is Caption Day

The Things They Say and Do – Week 4

On Tuesday afternoon while we were all getting ready to go out for a walk Ellie called out: “Are you ready? Let’s go!”. That’s a 5 – count ‘em: 5 – word phrase! I am a proud Dad :)

Blackberry

Image via Wikipedia

During their bedtime routine Jake especially loves being read to while they have their bedtime milk. On Saturday I was reading a book that featured a mouse & blackberries, & Jake was pretending to pick the blackberries from the page & eat them, & also feed them to me. Both of us having spent a lot of the summer picking & eating them in  the garden I said to him: “You like blackberries don’t you?”; “and milk” he added,  finishing a sentence!

We had a first this morning. Jake said “Pee!” very excitedly, ran off,  then came back with a potty: the contents of which appeared to have been just added. A little star! He was very pleased with himself, & rightly so,

These are highlights from the last week’s posts of my ’3 Brilliant Things’ where I (aim to) post 3 things every day that have made me happy, 1 of many 3BT blogs doing just that.

It is also part of Chris’ “Things They Say & Do’ blog linky over at her blog ‘Thinly Spread‘. Please have a read of the other posts there, they’re very good. I can’t hope to compete with the wit & cuteness of those posts – but keep in mind that my twins have only just turned 23 months! They’ve come a long way but still have a long way to go. But then, isn’t that true of us all?

My Hat Was Very Popular That Day

Some photos from back in October. Good photos, I think; just a shame about the picture quality…

A Game of Two Halves?

In the wake of New Zealand’s magnificent & long-overdue World Cup victory I’m delighted to see that my twins are getting into rugby!

They’re both doing well with their communication: Ellie’s very good at saying words & she learns quickly, while Jake’s pronunciation isn’t as good but he is a better over-all communicator & is really good at signing.

So Ellie can say “rugby” pretty clearly, whereas Jake has a go but can sign not only “rugby” but also “rugby kit”.

Ellie can catch a rugby ball (albeit from a height of about an inch); Jake can’t yet but is very good at throwing it. So between them they make a pretty decent player!

They’re both pretty good at picking up the ball & running with it, usually with the other in pursuit. I must admit though I’m not used to rugby players finding it all so hilarious & laughing hysterically as they run!

The ball-carrier often ends up on the ground, with the other piling on top: proper little rugby players! Although I usually have to penalise them for not releasing the ball or not staying on their feet…

All in all Jake & Ellie have made this rugby-loving Daddy a very proud & happy man.

Jakey See, Jakey Do?

They were 19 months on Wednesday: closer to 2 years old than they are to 1!

We were sitting in the garden just yesterday (with our coats on) wondering “How the hell did that happen?” & “Where did the time go?”.

Well, I was anyway. They were mostly stomping on the garden’s last surviving flower.

They’re at an age now where they like imitating what they see us do, & trying to do things for themselves rather than have everything done for them.

Yesterday we were all wiping the sofa with baby wipes – that Ellie had very helpfully emptied out of the full, new packet. Many of the –  mostly unidentifiable (thankfully) – stains had been there for a considerable time. And we did a pretty good job.

They also like wiping spilt drinks (& other liquids) from the floor, & their mouths after eating, & their faces in the bath. Teeth-cleaning time is now much easier.

Jake loves following me around the garden helping me water the plants. So last night he saw a watering can next to a house-plant on the stairs, & decided to pick it up & water the thirsty & neglected plant for Daddy!

I was delighted  - until I saw that, imitating what he’d seen in the garden, he was busily watering the carpet around the pot & not the soil inside it!

It’s the thought that counts? And the carpet needed cleaning anyway….

So I asked them to show off their new haircuts…

Kids, eh?

Jake has had his first ever haircut; it was getting a bit long & wild (as is mine…). We tried to get him a 1950s-style short back’n'sides – we think it really suits him!

Ellie now has a centre parting with less of her gorgeous hair in her eyes, & she looks great with bunches! She still needs more off tho I think.

I’ll try to get some decent photos soon – if I can!

Minimalist Monday?

Well, I missed Silent Sunday

Again

“Our Place”, the Community Hub that I’ve been involved with & for which I am now Treasurer & a Director, had its Open Day on Friday, & it went really well. We had loads of people, live music, balloons, biscuits, raffles & a giant marrow (no joke – we did). The only complaints we had were that it was too crowded!

We are up & running & already have Relate & 2 other local community groups using the facilities.

I had Jake & Ellie with me & they had a great time running around, exploring, charming with cuteness & eating biscuits. I couldn’t manage them both in the crowd, even on their harnesses, so (fellow Director) Carole had Ellie while I tried to keep up with Jake.

We discovered an old guitar there, & he seems to be a natural! He was strumming & plucking as if born to it, & loved it. I was trying to play it with him when Kelly (another Director) passed by & snapped us on her iPhone.

I think it’s a great photo; Jake looks very grown-up, & for once I don’t look too much like a tramp. I’m pleased to see too that we both seem to be having the same mad hair day!

I’m sorry that this blog has been neglected of late.  One of the reasons for this is that – although I certainly didn’t plan it that way – my blog has become very centred around photos; my camera at first had the Curse of the Black Spot & has now broken completely. The last photo I posted was made using the limited snapping ability of my video camera.

I plan to rectify this though, & post once or twice a week, hopefully more. Jallie have grown & developed tremendously in the last month or so!

Hopefully I’ll ‘see’ you again soon.

Related articles