Home » Posts tagged 'Humor'
Got a witty, profound or just plain silly caption for this picture? Then leave it in the comments below! Then click on the little boy’s head here & you will be magically transported to the funsome Mammasaurus’ blog for many more pictures crying out for a witty / pithy #satcap caption.
I got 2 pre-schoolers walking the streets…I need ya, Dad. This is a bad one, the worst yet. I need the School Runner; I need your magic.
Not quite what Jake & Ellie’s pre-school teacher said to me. But it might have been.
And, to be fair, she hasn’t actually said anything like that to me at all. I just couldn’t resist appropriating a quote from one of my favourite films
- for I am now officially a School Runner!
Cue swelling spacey Vangelis synths while my spinner car swoops over city skyscrapers before descending onto the mean streets of suburban south Wales
In my head, anyway…
The reality is slightly different.
Jake & Ellie have been eased gradually into their new life as pre-schoolers: at first 2 afternoons a week, then 3, & now they’re up to the full 5.
To start with the Mummy & I were dropping them off & picking them up together; now we ‘take turns’. She likes to do it herself when she can, & she does. I can usually go with her on her days but we want them to get used to just 1 of us collecting them as she can’t go with me on my days.
They are really enjoying pre-school & are usually excited to be going. We just point them in the right direction & off they go; taking them there isn’t a problem.
Picking them up again afterwards, however…
I gaze with envy at the other parents walking along sedately, hand in hand with their little darling – or little darling & slightly bigger & more mature little darling – trotting along sweetly at their side.
I’m not sure what they think when they look at me. They’re probably too busy trying to avoid a flying Jake as he attempts to become the fastest 3-year-old on Earth. There’s a nasty chicane at the gate which is always trouble, then a long lane which is perfect for a little boy intent on doing his best Usain Bolt impression. The lane leads to a footpath then a busy road, & he hasn’t quite got it into his head yet that running onto roads is generally a bad idea.
There’s usually shouting.
Ellie on the other hand likes to dawdle. There are lots of little walls on the way & she sees it as her mission in life to walk on every one of them, very slowly, balancing with her arms in the air so she doesn’t fall off. Except she sometimes does. Some of the walls are in people’s gardens. “That belongs to someone else” is a sentence which just doesn’t seem to register in the world of a 3-year-old, or at least our 3-year-olds.
There’s usually shouting.
Of course I try to grab their hands on exit. They’re surprisingly quick, especially Jake, so that often doesn’t happen. Even if it does they’re also surprisingly strong & are experts at wriggling free.
We’ve tried wrist-straps, but that caused World War 3. They actually seemed genuinely hurt so we haven’t had the heart to try them again.
The one time I used the buggy, strapping them in, was during a freezing rainstorm where they seemed to accept my argument that we were doing it so I could get them to the car as quickly as possible. I’m not convinced it would work on a normal day, but that’s the plan for my next time.
I’d love to hear about the experiences of other School Runners, especially other parents of twins. Is it smooth sailing getting them home or are yours little terrors like ours?
It seems to me to be a twin thing, but I could be wrong!
I don’t think there’s any real danger; it’s just stressful so I’d like it to be better! We always make it home more or less all in one piece, unless you count stress as an injury. Where, even if I don’t manage it, I feel like having a sleep – and when I do I hopefully won’t dream of electric sheep or unicorns 
Got a witty, profound or just plain silly caption for this picture? Then leave it in the comments below!
Then click on the little boy’s head here & you will be magically transported to the funsome Mammasaurus’ blog for many more pictures crying out for a witty / pithy #satcap caption.
Heard around the Jallie Shack this week:
“You work in an office, don’t you Daddy?”
“No, not at the moment, Ellie. But I used to”.
“When you were young”.
Technically she’s wrong, but it often feels that way…
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Jake threw the mother of all tantrums yesterday. At school pick-up he wanted to sit ‘in’ (behind) the driver’s seat; Ellie had got there first, & I’d promised it to her anyway as he’d had it when I dropped them off. Getting him in the car-seat was a Herculean task! The drivers we held up, most likely also parents on the school run, were very understanding.
At home a bit later it seemed as if he was trying to make it up to me. He walked up to me & kissed my cheek.
“I like your ear, Daddy”
Then looking up at a picture on the wall: “I like your picture, Daddy”
Well, it was a really bad tantrum!
He already seems to know that flattery can get him everywhere. I think he’ll go far, that lad…
“Wot So Funee?” is a blog-hop, so for more funnies just click the pic!
My Tiny Dancer. Dressed as Snow White, for some reason.
When Jaime from ‘The Oliver’s Madhouse’ asked me if I could maybe join in with her new ‘Active Family’ blog-linky I have to admit: I sniggered, a little. I may have even actually ’lol’d!
Trying to get our funsome twosome to be a bit active isn’t really a problem at the moment. Even when they watch TV it’s more likely than not to be ‘Lazytown’: a show whose main character is a health fanatic called Sportacus. Living on ‘sports candy’ (mostly carrots) & always going to bed at 8.08, this is a man who has never knowingly walked anywhere in his entire life. Why do that when you can double-flip, cart-wheel, run or jump instead? Lately Ellie seems to spend more of her time being his preposterously pink side-kick Stephanie than herself, & she loves trying to copy Stephanie’s dance moves. Jake is Sportacus of course; I get to be the chubby, middle-aged, bald Mayor. Yay me.
Sportacus Jake!
No, it’s more of a challenge to get them to not be so active sometimes, please. Like when they’re jumping & doing forward rolls & headstands on the bed, or wanting to play ‘horsey’, when it’s late & they should be settling down for the night. Sometimes even after 8.08 (gasp)! Or a “Please stop climbing on the back of the sofa, especially when I’ve got a cup of hot coffee / a plate of lasagne!” sort of thing.
They’re at pre-school now for a few hours during the week, & that seems to use up a lot of their energy most days. We still take them to Monkey Music on Friday mornings, & have just started them in a dance class on Thursday evenings. They love both! We used to take them to a children’s gym on Friday afternoons & we’re looking for an alternative; that was probably their favourite activity & it would be a shame to lose it.
On the weekends we try to take them out for something active at least once a day: the country park, the fun farm, soft-play, swimming, or just scooting to the local playground. And there’s always the mini-trampoline & the flexible flyer in the garden!
So overall, yes: I think we’re a fairly active family.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I just need to have little lie down please…
For more ‘Active Family’ posts just click the pic:
So we were playing in the garden this afternoon, in the sunshine. We were throwing a ball, picking flowers & (I think) pretending to be characters from Lazy Town. As you do. I think I was the Mayor.
This would be such a great photo if it wasn’t for those boxer shorts…
Ellie sees something moving on the concrete, & rushes over to it.
“Ooh look! What’s that Daddy?!”
I look. “I think it’s a slug. A baby slug.”
Now she’s really excited. “A BABY SLUG!! OOOH, IT’S GORGEOUS!!”
Ellie likes babies, & is refreshingly free from prejudice as to which particular species thay may belong to. Or how slimy they are.
She rushes inside: “Look Mummy: A BABY SLUG!! IT’S GORGEOUS!!”
The Mummy doesn’t share Ellie’s enthusiasm for slugs, even baby ones.
In fact I think it’s fair to say that she doesn’t like slugs at all.
Undaunted, Ellie returns to her new love. “What is it doing, Daddy?”
“I think it’s probably trying to find food.”
“Yes! It’s trying to find food for its Mummy & its Daddy & its cousins” (Ellie likes having cousins) “and its babies!”
She & Jake then decide that it should eat their ‘wiggles’: worm-like fruity sweets that they don’t like at all & that they had already scattered for the birds. They were then duly distributed around Baby Slug for him to eat.
It occurred to me that it was probably trying to get out of the sun. And – of course – having listened to me as I explained that slugs ate leaves & the like they then set about picking leaves & covering Baby Slug with them.
Then it of course needed water. So a jug of said stuff was fetched, & poured for Baby Slug. They were very good, just pouring it around, & not on top of, their new friend. There was rather a lot of it though…
Satisfied that they had thoroughly provided for Gorgeous Baby Slug, they ran off to put more flowers on the trampoline. Which I think had became the Mayor of Lazy Town’s airplane, but I’m not entirely sure.
And what of our friend?
Have you heard the phrase “Killing with kindness?”
He appeared to be…sleeping.
Although when I later went out to retrieve my boxer shorts he had gone, so maybe my lovely little carers really had looked after him well!
“Wot So Funee?” is a blog-hop, so for more funnies just click the pic!
Ellie wanted to draw with colouring pens on the muddy puddle that she & Jake made.
She asked if she could & we said (definitely) “No”.
She argued.
“So why ask?”, we didn’t say.
“Ellie”, we did say, “if you try to draw on a puddle it won’t work & you’ll ruin the pens”.
She argued again.
We repeated the above, trying to make it more simple.
She argued some more.
So we put our collective foot down: “If I see you doing that I will take the pens away”.
Ellie: “You won’t see me!”
Nice try, Ellie, nice try…
“Wot So Funee?” is a blog-hop, so for more funnies just click the pic!
Got a witty, profound or just plain silly caption for this picture? Then leave it in the comments below!
Then click on the little boy’s head here & you will be magically transported to the funsome Mammasaurus’ blog for many more pictures crying out for a witty / pithy #satcap caption.
Warning: this post may contain traces of poo.
The twins have quite a Roman attitude towards the toilet. Ellie, in particular, seems to see doing one’s business as a social event.
In the demarcation of duties between me & the Mummy the role of ‘Toilet Attendant’ somehow seems to have gone on my CV. I think ‘Skilful Negotiator’ is very probably on hers…
When she’s on her throne Ellie likes to chat, with me.
I say “likes to chat”; I really mean “insists on chatting”. She can be very determined: “Daddy, come & have a chat with me! Sit there!”. It is my place to sit on the side of the bath. So we can “chat”.
And actually it’s alright; nice even. She’s mature enough & skilled enough in language now that we can have something like a “So how was your day?” conversation. With a little extra, sometimes uncomfortable, punctuation. And some slightly odd facial expressions.
I’ll ask her what she did today, & what she liked the most. And, after a bit of prompting, she can answer. I still really haven’t got used to my little babies, who for so long could only cry & gurgle, now having proper little conversations with us!
And as someone who isn’t naturally talkative or outgoing it adds extra demands on me, & adds to my skill set. And so is very good for me as well!
Of course the opposite is true too. When the Mummy or I have to answer nature’s call Jallie see it as an open invitation. They really can’t understand why we might want privacy.
Well we tweet from there don’t we? (Or so I’m told). And they don’t have a twitter account (yet) so why not? I guess.
Which reminds me: I really must get that lock fixed…
Got a witty, profound or just plain silly caption for this picture? Then leave it in the comments below!
Then click on the little boy’s head here & you will be magically transported to the funsome Mammasaurus’ blog for many more pictures crying out for a witty / pithy #satcap caption.
