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Training With The Stars

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Some of you may have read my post "I'm Not Fat, I'm Sympathetically Pregnant!" from way back in February. Briefly, while my wife was pregnant I looked a bit as if I was too. And as far as I’m concerned I had a damn good excuse!

Now that the twins have turned up my ‘baby weight’ has mostly gone too: carrying two increasingly heavy little people up & down stairs many times every day will do that to you!

You may have noticed that I said “mostly”. Raising these little guys is wonderful but can also be pretty stressful at times. Being drunk in charge of babies is, for me, a big No-No; and given that I often suffer from baby-induced sleep-deprivation more than a bevvy or 2 is just likely to send me off to sleep. And the sweet-tooth that reared its sugary head & pumped up my belly (apologies for the slightly unpleasant mixed metaphor) during my Sympathetic Pregnancy remains. So these days during times of stress the bar I’m more likely to make a bee-line for is a chocolate one.

In short, I could still do with a bit of toning-up. And, yes, this is looking like me keeping another New Year’s Resolution that I haven’t actually made…

FHM's Bionic magazine

So it was by a happy coincidence that this month’s issue of FHM comes with a free Bionic magazine, packed with tips for getting fit the easy way from some of Britain & the world’s top sportsmen. England & Leicester rugby star Toby Flood; arguably the best footballer in the world, Barcelona & Argentina’s Lionel Messi; & Britain’s best Mixed Martial Arts fighter Michael ‘The Count’ Bisping, to name a few, all share their secrets.

I couldn’t help but notice though that World Champion Heptathlete Jessica Ennis is also on hand for a personal training session. Those who know me well should already realise which of those I’d choose for some 1-on-1 training! Her 9-point guide to fitness is really down-to-earth & something that anyone, me included, can fit into a busy day in some form or other. She's also particularly good with the mental, as well as the physical, side of getting fitter. Her guide is already pinned to my wall…

So if you fancy getting fit with with Toby, Lionel, The Count, Jessica & other top athletes FHM is out now, also including features on Skins, career advice, lesbian ballerina sex (yes, really) & smartphone addiction.(I wonder if they’d read my post about Twittadiction?). You can get £1 off by ordering online; for more information go see Nicole.  :)

 

£1 off FHM
£1 off FHM

This is a Sponsored Post.,  All the words in it however – even the big ones – are my own. If I don't like it I don't write it!

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Their First Noël

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Travelling with the twins to be with family at Christmas: for many reasons, the main one of course being the weather, it seemed the Christmas destined not to be.

Through thick & thin however we made it happen! Timing our journey so that it fell between blizzard & big freeze, we actually made pretty good time & found that there wasn’t too much traffic on the roads. A cunning detour to avoid a potential huge delay helped.

The only other time we made a long journey Ellie cried nearly all the way. It was awful. Being older we were hoping she’d be more tolerant, but I sat in the back between them anyway. They slept for the first hour or so but when they woke up they cried, so we stopped at the nearest services & had a coffee. Why these places don’t have facilities for children I don’t know! There were enough of them there to justify it.

Back on the road they were still unhappy. I had a few toys to hand, but when even they didn’t work I had to resort to feeding them the muffin – toffee & fudge muffin no less – that I’d brought as an adult snack. All that sugar, normally a huge no-no! But desperate times call for…

Anyway they couldn’t get enough of it, & I hope I was able to feed them just enough to keep them happy, but not so much as give them a taste for unhealthy food. I don’t think they’ll need my help for that in years to come…

When we got there they were excited! They seemed really happy at being reunited with more of their loving family & all the new & exciting things to see & explore. Or maybe it was a sugar-rush! Probably both…

The first thing they did? Made a bee-line straight for the largest present & starting ripping off the wrapping as quickly as possible. It’s almost as if they knew what it was: these kids scare me sometimes…

After we managed to pull them away from there they had a great time crawling around & socialising, then we were able to settle them without much trouble into the padded playpen we’d brought with us. They did however both end up in bed with us when they woke up overnight, as they often do now.

Then it was Christmas Day! We of course had to dress them up as little Santas! Ellie especially seemed really excited:

Then: Presents! This time they were allowed to rip away at the wrapping to their hearts’ content. But of course, babies being babies, they now seemed less enthusiastic than the day before when they weren’t allowed to!

It was a very generous gift from our hosts. But it ‘required some assembly’. A bit of prodding, head-scratching, hammering, & – as a last resort – reading of instructions & we had a horsey!  OK: technically, a Zebra. It can be wheeled,

Ride 'em cowboy!

You must figure I'm a reeaal dangerous man

 

Yee-hah!

and rocked:

Cool-hand Jake

Next up, & thankfully needing slightly less assembly, a spinning car arena!

 

It's a serious business, this car-racing

Um, I'm pretty sure it's cars you're meant to put in there, Ellie. But sure: we could try the big squeezy ball!

A lot of smaller toys later – including an alien robot – & Jallie were as happy as kids in a toy shop! Which they pretty much were.

Then of course there was the inevitable ‘playing with the packaging’…

Not surprisingly, they wore themselves out with all this & had a nap before Christmas lunch.

They woke up while we adults were eating though, & were very happy to be with us; first Ellie

Cheeky!

Yes, I do think that was funny!

Right, I've had enough of this silly hat!

and then Jake:

 

Jus' like that!

A cracker? Don't mind if I do!

I won!

After a great lunch & a bit of resting & TV, the twins again settled without much trouble – but again both ended up in bed with us.

In the morning we packed up, somehow managing to fit everything into the car despite it seeming full when we’d left home. Unfortunately Ellie didn’t get the memo, & decided to have a sleep after I’d packed the playpen / bed!

We set off after lunch, not forgetting to feed the babies of course:

Feed me!

Oi! What do I have to do to get some service around here?!

Going back we were very well prepared. I sat in the back again, & we had a bottle each for them, some rice cake snacks to chew on & plenty of toys. After a slurp & a chomp, they were soon asleep & slept right through ’til we arrived home – to a very cold house.

It was a terrific Christmas, one which we all I think thoroughly enjoyed. For Jallie’s first one I couldn’t have asked for much more; they had a really happy time, & you can’t ask for better than that. Our hosts were just fantastic :D

Whatever the future may hold we’ll all always be able to look back on Christmas 2010 as a happy time.

So a very merry Christmas to you & yours!

I’m not fat, I’m sympathetically pregnant!

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My wife’s put on weight!

Have I mentioned that she’s pregnant? With twins?

Anyone who’s experienced it will know that food plays a big part in pregnancy. She’s been eating for 3 for 7 ½ months, & to start with at least, her 2 small guests  seemed to have weird taste in food.

For the first couple of months she seemed to have become a weird foodie bulimic. The growing babies seemed to need  – for her – unsusal food. The cravings weren’t too weird, but they were definitely strong.  Mostly unhealthy stuff, when she’s usually pretty good about eating lots of fruit & vege: McD’s, pop; & unusual (& often smelly) stuff like Piccalily, kippers, cockles; lots of baguettes & cream cheese. (Note: never cook kippers in the office microwave; it doesn’t make you very popular. I was made redundant soon after I did that & I don’t think it was a coincidence).

Luckily we’re staggering distance from a Tesco Express: I was going there 3-4 x a day (still am actually),  and I’ve had to make quite a few midnight runs to McD’s or the chippy.

The worst thing was that nothing stayed down, for the 1st month or 2, along with the cravings, she had  hyperemesis – severe ‘morning sickness’. She talked on the Big White Telephone so loudly that our well-meaning neighbours thought she had Swine Flu; we nearly had a big cross daubed on the door!

After several trips to the local (& excellent) 24-hour clinic, & after several false starts she finally found some medication that kept everything in check. We also had some great help from some terrific twitter people. especially @cosmicgirlie & @LuceKD.

2nd trimester she decided she needed to eat more healthily: lots more fruit & vege, less junk food. For 2 months in a row, despite 2 rapidly growing little people inside her & all the stuff that goes with them, she actually lost weight! I am often in awe of her.

In the last trimester they have exploded  – a week ago they weighed in at over 10lbs – but her healthy eating has more or less continued.

I’m a bloke. (I may have mentioned that). I’m not particularly good with food: I can cook, but I lack imagination. If left to my own devices I’ll skip breakfast & just have toast for lunch. Apart from that, I’ll mostly eat what she does. If she has junk food, so do I.

Throughout the pregnancy we’ve had several health scares; my wife’s hyperemesis was distressing. Mostly as I felt that at any time I may have to drive to the hospital or off to gather food, I haven’t been drinking so much.

So in reaction to stress, I’ve been eating. I’ve always had a sweet tooth, but it seems to have gone beyond anything normal to real cravings.

Bottom line: I’ve put on quite a bit of weight!

We’re eating good healthy dinners, & fruit in between, but for me it’s a daily struggle to not grab that chocolate / those biscuits / jelly beans / whatever. And I seem to have no will-power: if it’s there, I’ll scoff it; I don’t seem to be able to eat a little at a time, & save it for later.

I’ve decided I’m sympathetically pregnant: it’s my story & I’m sticking to it!

It’s probably nature’s way of fattening me up ready for carting 2 rapidly growing little people up & down stairs, in & out of cots, buggies, baths, etc., etc. I expect the pounds will fall off! I feel exhausted just thinking about it: where’s that Mars Bar?!

title courtesy of Cartman

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