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Music Monday: Birthday

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One of the things you lovely people out there in the blogosphere & the twitterverse may have noticed is that something I sometimes eloquently articulate upon bang on about with insightful  profundity monotonous regularity is music, my love of it, how I listen to it a lot, how my iPod Touch is now up to (just a sec…) 8,735 tracks so far, & how I should have been a singer in a rock’n'roll band. I even have a twitter account specifically for tweeting what I’m playing on my iPod, via YouTube. At least I don’t drunkenly tweet random lyrics late at night anymore as much as I used to…

So it makes sense for me to feature music in my blog. With the sad demise of Musodad’s blog I feel moved to blatantly take advantage try to pick up where he left off & do a post where I put up a few songs that have recently taken my fancy for one reason or another & write some words about them.

And… some may also have heard me mention that it’s Jallie’s 2nd Birthday today (yay!). So that gives me an obvious theme then for my first, & possibly last:

Warning: may contain traces of soppiness. I’ll try to add a little sarcasm & some bad jokes where appropriate.

Altered Images: Happy Birthday

An obvious place to start: it was either this or the Bjork-lead Sugarcubes’ “Birthday”. Altered Images’ lead singer was the scrumptious Clare Grogan: not only Gregory’s Girl, the object of Dave Lister‘s unrequited love (& the true Kochanski), but also the scourge of Craggy Island & Father Ted when she turned up there to tell him & the boys a thing or 2. So I’ll take her over Bjork any day! Also: Stevie Wonder’s “Happy Birthday” is a bit rubbish. And I don’t care if it’s about Martin Luther King.

U2: Two Hearts (Beat As One)

Say what you like about U2 & Bono, & most of us do, this is just a great rock song; from the pre-Joshua Tree “War” album. You know what I think of now when I hear this? Jake & Ellie inside their Mummy, entwined together, separate yet one, apart but together now & always, like two hearts that beat as one.

There ya go: soppiness, with rock’n'roll!

Steve Miller Band: The Joker

This was Jake’s early theme song. Yes, we give our children theme songs: doesn’t everyone? From a very early age he’s exhibited a terrific sense of humour, getting & making jokes long before we’d have thought a young child would. OK, some of the lyrics aren’t appropriate: if I find he’s a smoker or a midnight toker I may have to have words. And I don’t know what the “pompitous of love” is but I’m pretty sure I disapprove. But it’s a good song.

Elton John: Tiny Dancer

I adore this song: Elton John at his very best. It’s almost worth watching the film “Almost Famous”, about the ’70s music scene, just for the Tiny Dancer sequence. Shows the ’70s wasn’t just prog, punk & disco!

My Tiny Dancer, of course, is Ellie. This was my early theme song for her. She’s loved to dance virtually since she could stand, & has been much better at it than her Dad for at least that time. She’s always sung beautifully too.

I also used to jig her about to this, substituting in “Ellie!” & lifting her high up in the air at the appropriate moment. She loved it! Then she’d usually throw up all over me. Happy Days.

Bob Dylan: Quinn the Eskimo (The Mighty Quinn)

Jake’s current theme song: “Come on the juice, come on the cake: you’ll not see nothin’ like the mighty Jake”.  He has a great sense of humour; it’s sometimes a mystery where he gets it from…

Donovan: Mellow Yellow

Ellie’s current theme song: “They call her ‘Ellie-belly’ “…

I’m starting to think that the quality of the songs we choose for our children may be on the wane…

Beyoncé: Halo

From the ridiculous to…

Beyoncé: a bona-fide Superstar, supremely talented, ravishingly beautiful, jaw-droppingly sexy: you name it, she’s got it. And this song is just epic, beautiful & moving. Her music was playing in the operating theatre during their birth, & I’m pretty sure ‘Halo’ was playing as they were delivered into the world. I even gave it its own little post.

I can’t now listen to this already beautiful song without being profoundly moved. It’s Their Song. It always takes me back to those mad, magical moments when they came into the world & into our lives. They were so wanted for so long, & it took so many tears & trials before they finally became a part of us. When they did ‘it was like we’d been awakened’: “Baby, I can see your halo: you know you’re my saving grace”.

Happy Birthday, Jake & Ellie. We love you.

I warned you that there might be soppiness! I can’t think of any sarcasm or bad jokes at this point, sorry. Maybe next week…


This Blog Is Pointless

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OK: this blog is pointless.

It was meant to be about how the birth of my twin babies has changed my life.

And, how has it changed? In every way!

So I’ve sort of figured out that it’s not about me.

It’s about them.

And they have sure changed!

So, really the point of this blog has changed.

Part of the reason I haven’t posted for so long is that looking after them has been tough; hard work, tiring, stressful – for us both. It’s taken it’s toll on each of us individually & as a couple. The leisure time I’ve had I’ve mostly used to unwind.

Given all that, has it been worth it? A thousand times: “Yes!”. My kids are the most precious things to me; I realise it every time they greet me with a gorgeous smile when they see me first thing in the morning, when I make them laugh, when they fall asleep peacefully on my shoulder. They’re worth every hardship.

It’s been 6 months – yes, 6 of their 8 months – since my last post. In that time they’ve changed – a lot.

They’re Eating. Proper Food. That was then:

This is now:

They love avocado, banana, carrot sticks, baby biscuits, sweet potato, peaches, apples, yoghurt & much more. My wife is doing an amazing job of preparing most of their food herself, preferably using organic ingredients. They almost always prefer her food to even top brand shop products.

Ellie always tries to feed herself, & has to have something in her hand to chew/suck on;

Jake is quite happy to be fed.

Meal times can be great fun, but also very trying if they’re tired or grizzly. They’re not too young to throw a strop!

It was a major event when we first saw them reach & grip something of their accord. We used to joke about Jake’s daily battles with the Hippo in his bouncy chair. He’d stare at it for ages trying to figure out how to grab its evil frame. I still remember that day we saw him do it for the first time. Now they’re both very dextrous: Ellie with her food, & Jake has just recently developed a pincer grip: using his finger & thumb.

And boy, have they got strong! Changing their nappies or clothes sometimes feels like jumping into the ring with Hulk Hogan. Their grip, Jake’s especially, can be very painful when applied to ‘sensitive areas’. He got my nipple once – OUCH.

For what seems like so long this was their default position:

Then they started doing this:

Then this:

And this:

Then this: And this:

Then, written on my calendar for November 4th 2010: “She stood up today”. I’m still shocked. She does this now whenever she can from her cot, & always looks so pleased with herself, cooing contentedly! And Jake finds it hilarious when she eventually falls over…

(NTS: I really need to get my skates on to make the house safer for them)

Jake’s attempts at crawling so far mostly involve lying on his tummy, arms in front like he’s flying, legs in the air kicking like a frog & rocking vigourously while panting excitedly. He still seemingly can’t quite figure out why he hasn’t moved! He seems in no hurry – he seems to be enjoying himself – & neither am I, as watching him is hilarious! He can sit up, but doesn’t do it of his own volition. It just goes to show that babies, even twins, develop at very different rates & in different ways. In fact, that’s probably a subject for another post…

Needless to say they’re much bigger & heavier. It’s incredible to think they used to fit comfortably in a single little basket

Now they’ve outgrown not only their Moses baskets, but we’ve had to give them a cot each. Jake in particular is getting very heavy.

They’ve always had strong, individual personalities – even in the womb: That’s Ellie on top, pushing on Jake’s head to get into a better position. She seems the active, physical one, whereas he seems content to just Be: much as they have been since they emerged!

Now they’re like proper little people. They smile a lot,

they laugh a lot,

they’re  are much more aware of themselves,

of each other,

of other people,

& of the world  around them.

They definitely have bags of personality now!

I love making them laugh. Jake particularly has a fantastic sense of humour: he’ll laugh at almost anything. And when I make a joke that they don’t get they’re now both socially aware to realise that I’m trying to make with the funny, & will still humour me with a smile. Everywhere they go they seem to charm everyone they meet. They make us so proud.

And they try to talk. Jake is very fond of saying “Eh-oh” (trans: “Hello”)  Tellytubbies style.  And Ellie calls me “Dada”. My wife isn’t convinced; she thinks it’s just random easy syllables, or imitation. But when she looks up at me first thing in the morning & with a smile says “Dada” – I’m convinced. She’s also said “I like duck”, but that may be going too far for an 8-month-old.

We’ve been trying to teach them some basic baby signing words; apparently babies can pick them up very easily. Today, for the first time, they made a sign word: Fantastic! It was around lunchtime,  they were getting a bit grizzly, & Jake repeatedly made the sign for “Eat”. It turns out he was hungry. I couldn’t be a more proud Dad :D

It’s amazing looking back over the last 6 months just how far they’ve come. I’m sure it’ll be just as amazing watching them grow & develop, & sharing in it, over the coming months & years.

And now here’s a nice picture of Ellie in her Grandpa’s cap :)

P.S.: I’ll try not to wait 6 months until my next post….

T-7 And Counting: Gearing Up For TwinsLaunchDate

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Have I mentioned that my wife is pregnant? With twins?

For those who don’t know, we now have a ‘launch date’: March 12th, a week today.  We can be so precise as she has to have a C-Section.

She had her last scan yesterday, saw the Obstetrician,  gave her usual sample, had her blood pressure checked & had a blood test.  They’re giving her special attention there, she’ll have 2 Consultants performing the delivery. They were very thorough! We were there for 2 & a half  hours, (& had to pay £4 in parking).  The Obby was concerned that the stomach pains my wife had recently may have actually been labour pains: they could still come early, so we have to be ready!

We’re more & more certain that we have 2 healthy strong babies: they now weigh in at 6 lbs each! In the last 2 weeks they’ve increased in weight by nearly 15%, a pound & half between them.

They were both in the breach position, head to head, facing the same way. In short, they’re spooning. 1,2,3…. “Awwww”.

Unfortunately they’re too big now to be able to get a decent picture; it would have been a great 1. Plenty of opportunity for that in times to come I hope.

The movements are yet stronger & more pronounced: we can watch my wife’s belly ‘roiling with bits of baby’. It reminds me at times of the hot mud springs in Rotorua in New Zealand!  I’m sure I felt a little hand on my thumb this morning. I of course can only feel external movements, not the internal ones against my wife’s ribs, bowels, lungs etc. It’s ‘slightly less pleasant’ for her of course, but she loves it none the less.

I said it before but this has been an incredible experience for both of us already: one that we’ll always treasure, come what may. It’s really brought us together; as a couple we’ve never been closer.

We had another good chat in the car & at the hospital yesterday & have more or less decided on names, but we’ll wait until they emerge before finally deciding. We’ll keep you posted.

I’m not fat, I’m sympathetically pregnant!

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My wife’s put on weight!

Have I mentioned that she’s pregnant? With twins?

Anyone who’s experienced it will know that food plays a big part in pregnancy. She’s been eating for 3 for 7 ½ months, & to start with at least, her 2 small guests  seemed to have weird taste in food.

For the first couple of months she seemed to have become a weird foodie bulimic. The growing babies seemed to need  – for her – unsusal food. The cravings weren’t too weird, but they were definitely strong.  Mostly unhealthy stuff, when she’s usually pretty good about eating lots of fruit & vege: McD’s, pop; & unusual (& often smelly) stuff like Piccalily, kippers, cockles; lots of baguettes & cream cheese. (Note: never cook kippers in the office microwave; it doesn’t make you very popular. I was made redundant soon after I did that & I don’t think it was a coincidence).

Luckily we’re staggering distance from a Tesco Express: I was going there 3-4 x a day (still am actually),  and I’ve had to make quite a few midnight runs to McD’s or the chippy.

The worst thing was that nothing stayed down, for the 1st month or 2, along with the cravings, she had  hyperemesis – severe ‘morning sickness’. She talked on the Big White Telephone so loudly that our well-meaning neighbours thought she had Swine Flu; we nearly had a big cross daubed on the door!

After several trips to the local (& excellent) 24-hour clinic, & after several false starts she finally found some medication that kept everything in check. We also had some great help from some terrific twitter people. especially @cosmicgirlie & @LuceKD.

2nd trimester she decided she needed to eat more healthily: lots more fruit & vege, less junk food. For 2 months in a row, despite 2 rapidly growing little people inside her & all the stuff that goes with them, she actually lost weight! I am often in awe of her.

In the last trimester they have exploded  – a week ago they weighed in at over 10lbs – but her healthy eating has more or less continued.

I’m a bloke. (I may have mentioned that). I’m not particularly good with food: I can cook, but I lack imagination. If left to my own devices I’ll skip breakfast & just have toast for lunch. Apart from that, I’ll mostly eat what she does. If she has junk food, so do I.

Throughout the pregnancy we’ve had several health scares; my wife’s hyperemesis was distressing. Mostly as I felt that at any time I may have to drive to the hospital or off to gather food, I haven’t been drinking so much.

So in reaction to stress, I’ve been eating. I’ve always had a sweet tooth, but it seems to have gone beyond anything normal to real cravings.

Bottom line: I’ve put on quite a bit of weight!

We’re eating good healthy dinners, & fruit in between, but for me it’s a daily struggle to not grab that chocolate / those biscuits / jelly beans / whatever. And I seem to have no will-power: if it’s there, I’ll scoff it; I don’t seem to be able to eat a little at a time, & save it for later.

I’ve decided I’m sympathetically pregnant: it’s my story & I’m sticking to it!

It’s probably nature’s way of fattening me up ready for carting 2 rapidly growing little people up & down stairs, in & out of cots, buggies, baths, etc., etc. I expect the pounds will fall off! I feel exhausted just thinking about it: where’s that Mars Bar?!

title courtesy of Cartman

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Alive and Kicking

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We’ve just come back from our 33-week scan: only about 3 weeks til Launch Day now! (Gestation is generally about a month less with twins).

Have I mentioned that my wife is pregnant? With twins?

We love the scans: we get to see our babies moving & living. Every time they seem more & more human, separated from us seeing & interacting fully with them just by skin & tissue. Of more practical importance is that the hospital staff are able to take size & weight measurements & give us feedback on their growth.

Well, we’re amazed: they are now 5lb 8oz, & 4lb 12 oz! They’re already above average for singletons, & twins are meant to be smaller! I’m thinking “rugby player(s)” already. They’ve grown enormously in the 2 weeks since our last scan: my dear wife must be doing something right. And hopefully I’m contributing by doing my job of looking after her & preparing for their arrival.

They’ve gained one & one & a half pounds in just 2 weeks: they’re exploding. My wife is almost constantly complaining about feeling sore & bloated & is now having trouble just moving around. No wonder! She decided to go for a marathon waddle in the park on the weekend: I had to go & rescue her when she ran out of steam. Getting out of chairs, putting on tights, bending over has also become difficult.  I’m happy to do anything I can for her, but I’ve made it clear that I am *not* wiping her arse for her: that’s a job for the robot butler.

She’s also being kicked. A lot. And elbowed. And pushed. And scraped. Then there’s the twists & turns, the jostling. Shaun White & his Tomahawk has got nothing on these 2! Every scan seems to have them in different positions. They seem to be using her bladder as a trampoline, her lungs as punchbags. What they’re doing to her perineum we don’t want to know.

Despite the discomfort, indigestion & breathlessness: she loves it. I of course even more so, as I get the benefit without the cost. We’ve recently felt (& possibly heard) them hiccupping. I’ve put my hand on her belly & watched my fingers bump up & down.  She can lie back & watch her belly undulating, like that scene in “Alien” (which of course has an underlying  theme of family & motherhood).  We are already playing with them: if we feel ‘a bit of baby’ sticking out & give it a poke, they’ll poke back. It’s like facebook with skin! Of course they might just be saying “Oi! Stop poking me, you big oaf!”.

One evening last week I decided it would be fun to hold her belly & jiggle it up & down while going “Weeeee!”. The response I got was amazing: they were in a frenzy of movement for several hours afterwards! They seemed to enjoy it, & I know I did, but I don’t think my wife did; &  I probably woke them up. I haven’t done that again.  I’d like to though :)

I don’t think there’s any way I could have prepared myself for how this feels. You read & hear about it so I knew the theory, but the feeling of touching my unborn children through my wife’s belly & having them respond to my touch, feeling that we’re playing together, is indescribable: a joy I never could have imagined.  Whatever happens in our futures these are moments that the both of us will remember &  treasure for the rest of our lives.

title courtesy of Simple Minds

What’s in a Name?

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“A rose by any other name…”

“I’ve got a cousin called Rose”

“No, I meant…. Actually I like Rose. And stop interrupting”

“Sorry. Yeah, she’s nice. She’s a twin too.”

“No, I meant I like the name. Is she?”

“Yeah, her brother’s Peter”

“Peter?”

“Yeah, Peter. My best man. You’ve forgotten already?”

“It’s allowed: I’m pregnant. With twins. Did I  mention that?”"

“Oh yeah, sorry. It makes you do a lot of strange things doesn’t it? Like how you explained to me that you have to have the remote all the time or the babies get upset & start kicking you. And how I have to watch Glee with you”

“That’s right, very good.  Anyway, you said you like Glee! Actually, Peter’s a nice name”

“No I didn’t.  (OK, but don’t tell anyone: not good for my image)”

“Another Rose & Peter though, & twins? That would be a bit weird”

“What? Oh, OK. So…Paul then?”

“No, don’t like that. I work with a Paul & he’s horrible”

“Adam?”

“Mmm, maybe. He’d probably get given lots of apples”

“Larry?”

“Definately No! Wait: you’re just going through the names of U2, aren’t you?”

“It was worth a try. What’s the Edge’s first name. anyway?”

“‘The’?”

“You think you’re funny don’t you? At least I didn’t suggest Bono”

“You were about to weren’t you?”

“Yeah I was. Thom? My Dad’s name was Tom”

“Yeah, maybe: that’s a good name”

“Jonny?”

“OK, but a bit too public school. O god – you’re doing Radiohead now, aren’t you?!”

“What’s the name of the bald bloke on the drums? I like him”

“We are not naming our son after the bald bloke from Radiohead!”

“Are you shouting ‘cos of you being pregnant & all? With twins?”

“Yes, dear, that’s right.”

The debate continues…

Disclaimer: Although this is the kind of chat we often have, my wife would like to have it made clear that she’s not actually this stroppy most of the time, & that I am allowed the remote sometimes. And that if I don’t write this the babies will be upset & start kicking her.

title courtesy of William Shakespeare

Through a Scanner, Darkly

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Over the last 7-8 months my wife & I have been practically living in the ante-natal clinic in our local hospital. Given that my wife: is carrying twins, is a bit older than your average Mum, & has had what we men can only refer to as “Women’s Problems”, she’s a bit of a special case there.

With 1 notable exception, (The Evil Sonographer), the clinical staff have been universally excellent & she is in very capable hands, but the admin leaves a lot to be desired. Typical NHS, really. We’re usually there for 2-3 hours each visit, every week or 2. I’ve asked if could pitch a tent there so I could brew moonshine & roast rabbits for a stew while we’re waiting, but for some reason they said “No!”.  Even when I offered to play some Seasick Steve numbers on my geetar to keep everyone’s spirits up. Some Health & Safety bollocks: it’s PC Gone Mad!

She’s been having scans about every 2 weeks & we always get very excited ‘cos we get to see what our kiddies look like, & see them moving around. It’s been a wonderful experience (apart from when we had The Evil Sonographer…) Wonderful as these scans were, they’re 2D, black & white, & we can only get printed, not digital, images to take with us.

Because of this, & because of what turned out to be a false scare from The Evil Sonographer, we decided to supplement our regular NHS scans with a private super-duper one: for peace of mind to confirm that they were both growing normally & because of the special colour 3D images.

We are so glad we did! It wasn’t expensive, the Sonographer was also a Midwife, & she had plenty of time to respond to our needs & wishes; unlike the NHS where they generally do their best but are almost always pressed for time. We were not only able to confirm that both babies were growing normally, but were able to see some terrific 3D video of the little tykes, & some great images to take with us: both printed AND in digital form.

All well & good, but then there’s THIS (click to enlarge):

The serene-looking, apparently sleeping figure is our boy. The fist – in his head – belongs to his sister. OUR KIDS AREN’T EVEN BORN YET AND THEY’RE ALREADY HITTING EACH OTHER.

We’ve asked them to stop it but they won’t listen. They can hear us, oh yes; they’re just ignoring us. Start as you mean to go on, why don’t you? We humans learn fast, don’t we!

We’ve  had visions of Social Services launching Donald Pleasance & Raquel Welch in a miniaturised submarine to take them away to somewhere safer – although exactly where we hadn’t worked out yet.

What we’d surmised – especially if the boy takes after his Dad – is that he’s very good at getting into the best spot, & that his sister is all “Mum, he’s got the best spot again, make him share!”. When Mum did nothing, she punched him. The boy seemed to be very comfy, with his feet up & head supported: all he needed was a pipe, slippers & the Sunday Papers to complete the picture. His sister’s puny attempts at violence didn’t seem to bother him at all.

Although there was that time where I dreamed I was in a punch-up & I actually hit my wife (lightly) in real life while I was asleep – which had never happened before, hasn’t since & I hope never will again; & about which I still feel terrible -  we are now satisfied that we aren’t actually a violent family & that our little darlings aren’t busy thumping each other. Although the way my wife’s insides seem to get churned up  – from what she says – they may well be playing rugby in there.

This (we think) gives a better overview:

click to enlarge

That’s our girl. She’s sleeping, with her hand over her face. It’s not clear, but what her hand is resting – RESTING – on is her brother’s head. All very sweet & innocent, right?

That’s our story, & we’re sticking to it. And that’s what we’re telling Social Services, them & their bloody Donald Pleasance & mini-subs. You”ll back me up, right? Thanks!

Have to admit, there does seem to be a bit of clambering, jockeying for position,  going on:

click to enlarge

Kids, eh?

title courtesy of Philip K. Dick, via Paul the Apostle