I’m not fat, I’m sympathetically pregnant!

My wife’s put on weight!

Have I mentioned that she’s pregnant? With twins?

Anyone who’s experienced it will know that food plays a big part in pregnancy. She’s been eating for 3 for 7 ½ months, & to start with at least, her 2 small guests  seemed to have weird taste in food.

For the first couple of months she seemed to have become a weird foodie bulimic. The growing babies seemed to need  – for her – unsusal food. The cravings weren’t too weird, but they were definitely strong.  Mostly unhealthy stuff, when she’s usually pretty good about eating lots of fruit & vege: McD’s, pop; & unusual (& often smelly) stuff like Piccalily, kippers, cockles; lots of baguettes & cream cheese. (Note: never cook kippers in the office microwave; it doesn’t make you very popular. I was made redundant soon after I did that & I don’t think it was a coincidence).

Luckily we’re staggering distance from a Tesco Express: I was going there 3-4 x a day (still am actually),  and I’ve had to make quite a few midnight runs to McD’s or the chippy.

The worst thing was that nothing stayed down, for the 1st month or 2, along with the cravings, she had  hyperemesis – severe ‘morning sickness’. She talked on the Big White Telephone so loudly that our well-meaning neighbours thought she had Swine Flu; we nearly had a big cross daubed on the door!

After several trips to the local (& excellent) 24-hour clinic, & after several false starts she finally found some medication that kept everything in check. We also had some great help from some terrific twitter people. especially @cosmicgirlie & @LuceKD.

2nd trimester she decided she needed to eat more healthily: lots more fruit & vege, less junk food. For 2 months in a row, despite 2 rapidly growing little people inside her & all the stuff that goes with them, she actually lost weight! I am often in awe of her.

In the last trimester they have exploded  – a week ago they weighed in at over 10lbs – but her healthy eating has more or less continued.

I’m a bloke. (I may have mentioned that). I’m not particularly good with food: I can cook, but I lack imagination. If left to my own devices I’ll skip breakfast & just have toast for lunch. Apart from that, I’ll mostly eat what she does. If she has junk food, so do I.

Throughout the pregnancy we’ve had several health scares; my wife’s hyperemesis was distressing. Mostly as I felt that at any time I may have to drive to the hospital or off to gather food, I haven’t been drinking so much.

So in reaction to stress, I’ve been eating. I’ve always had a sweet tooth, but it seems to have gone beyond anything normal to real cravings.

Bottom line: I’ve put on quite a bit of weight!

We’re eating good healthy dinners, & fruit in between, but for me it’s a daily struggle to not grab that chocolate / those biscuits / jelly beans / whatever. And I seem to have no will-power: if it’s there, I’ll scoff it; I don’t seem to be able to eat a little at a time, & save it for later.

I’ve decided I’m sympathetically pregnant: it’s my story & I’m sticking to it!

It’s probably nature’s way of fattening me up ready for carting 2 rapidly growing little people up & down stairs, in & out of cots, buggies, baths, etc., etc. I expect the pounds will fall off! I feel exhausted just thinking about it: where’s that Mars Bar?!

title courtesy of Cartman


12 thoughts on “I’m not fat, I’m sympathetically pregnant!”

  1. Almost a year later after the birth of Little Small, I’m still sympathetically pregnant! Or maybe I just forgot to stop eating for two. Or maybe I’ve birthed two adult sized babies.

    Which reminds me – please tell me the twins weight COMBINED is 10lbs, because if it’s otherwise, I suddenly have a new hero….

  2. My youngest is 8 and I still havent shaken off my sympathetic baby weight.

    While our women are busy creating brand new people inside themselves and then squeezing those people out of nether regions that were clearly not designed for the task – they can sometimes forget about how we feel.

    Your body is taking on energy for the mammoth task that lies ahead of you – you will need it. Good luck.

  3. Don’t worry about the extra weight as it will drop off eventually. 9 months gaining the weight requires 9 months to loose it, at least! Breast feeding really helps shed the weight with approx 500 extra cals burnt per day per baby but that’s probably not going to help you much and your wife seems to be doing really well already! 🙂
    All the running around with the babies will help too and if you’re not back in shape after a year I hear there are really good clinics in Brazil that do reasonably priced mommy & daddy makeovers! That’s at the top of my wish list and perhaps they do ‘2 for the price of 1’ offers if you’re interested? 🙂
    Good luck with everything!

  4. Er, good to know Jay & David: thanks. I think.

    10 lbs between them, yes! We *would* have had that scene from Alien by now otherwise! 5’8 & 4’12 last week.

    Partly what’s behind this blog, thanks David. It’s an area a lot of men don’t want to or don’t want to admit to being affected by – maybe we see it as too feminine (as if that’s a bad thing!) – but it affects us as well, even if not as much to start with.

    Thanks Stina: I hope so (except the breast-feeding, not really my department). Clinics in Brazil? Sounds exotic; we’ll have to save up for that 1 I think 🙂

    1. It’s actually 1 of my first posts here. I’d just editted out some broken links – this is, oddly enough, my most read post & so is in my ‘Some single malts’ list – & it seems to have been sent to my subscribers as if it was a new post. There were a few others like that too. Sorry ’bout that!

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