Home » Alive & Kicking » Dear So & So

Dear So & So

Dear Dear So & So

Everything’s pretty good at the moment: sorry.

I know the general idea is to have a moan about things that bug you, but I’m pretty happy with life in general at the moment. Sorry to disappoint, especially as this my first “Dear So & So”

Give it time, I’ll sure I’ll have  more to moan about soon. See you around 🙂

‘Annoyingly content’ me

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Although, now that I think of it:

Dear Babies

When we put you down in a room could you please not immediately crawl towards anything that could cut / electrocute / bludgeon / choke  / etc. which we thought we had carefully hidden away from you

And please stop kicking me in the bollocks. We’ve talked about this. It hurts. Quite a lot.

Thank you

‘You’re so cute when you do it so I don’t mind really’ me

———————————-

Dear neighbours’ contractors

You know that big ditch you illegally dug on my property about 3 months ago, without my permission or even knowledge? It would be nice if you would come over & fill it in.

‘A bit miffed’ me

———————————

Dear B&Q delivery people

You know that curtain rail you clattered? It fell off & I can’t figure out how to put it back up.

Thanks a bunch

‘Starting to get a little bit annoyed’ me

——————————–

Dear Birmingham Council

It would be nice if you would collect our rubbish some time in the next decade. I currently have 9 bags out the front, many of them full of very dirty nappies, & there are 3 more on the way tomorrow.

‘Actually quite annoyed now’ me

———————————–

Dear Hospital

You know that shoulder op I’ve been trying to get? For about 2 years now? That has been postponed at least 3 times? That MUST be done this month? That you told me before Christmas that I was on the shortlist for? A phone call would be nice.

‘Really quite cross now’ me

————————————

Dear people nearby who are letting off fireworks

Can’t you do some of those ones that go “whoosh” & make pretty patterns in the sky? Instead of one after another that goes “BANG BANG BANG feckin BANG”?

You woke up my baby. Who then kicked me in the bollocks

‘REALLY FECKIN ANGRY!’ me

————————————

Smeg! I was in a good mood before I wrote this…

Dear So and So...

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13 thoughts on “Dear So & So

  1. Oh, I love a good whinge. Everyone except the babies deserve a good arse-kicking. Babies are allowed to kick their Dads in the nuts; also to wee, poo and/or vomit on their parents. I believe it is the law.

  2. “The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation” because of crap like this.

    I’ll add;

    Dear Anglain water.

    Thanks not so much for scaring my wife with a huge bill that the previous residents had run up, but you somehow think is ours because you didn’t come round and read the meter on the day we moved in like you said you would.

    or;

    Dear NHS

    We are not so grateful that instead of allowing GP’s to actually treat patients, you instead insist that they rush them out of the surgery in 10 minutes with a treatment that ‘usually’ works. So therefore the first round of anti-biotics I had for an ear infection was as much use as a paper kettle and Xmas and new Year was ruined for us ’cause I was stuck in bed.

    It’s shame that impending family life has caused me to leave the reserves, ’cause when things like this happen it’s really good to go off for the weekend and blow stuff up. 😉

    • That’s a great quote, I’ll remember that, thanks. (Thoreau: interesting man – I googled it).

      That stinks! I often think that there seems to be something fundamentally wrong with institutions & companies here: so focussed on profit margins & targets that they forget about PEOPLE. Or they’re just plain dumb.

      Blowing stuff up sounds fantastically theraeputic. I usually stick to PC / Wii gaming for that 🙂

  3. To babyproof my house I used to crawl around on my hands and knees and say things to myself like “If I were a baby how could I get myself in trouble here…”

  4. Pingback: Dear So & So « Whiskey For Aftershave

  5. Pingback: It’s Just Not Healthy! | Whiskey For Aftershave

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