1) Sniffing for Poo on babies’ bottoms
2) Looking for Poo on babies’ bottoms
3) Finding it
4) Finding it on the (wooden) bedroom floor
5) Cleaning it from the bedroom floor
6) Actually finding it all quite funny
7) Becoming an expert on Poo: move over Chris Packham! Did you know that there are many different types of baby poo? There’s… (Internal Censor: “Shut Up”)
That’s enough about Poo I think. Most of the above also applies to Wee, so we can skip that part…
Eight)* Saying “Did you remember the helicopter?” & meaning it
9) Spending a significant proportion of my days blowing raspberries, going “wibble wibble” & pulling silly faces
10) Singing CW McCall’s “Convoy” while going up & down stairs with the rest of my bonkers family, the 2 small ones in hysterics
11) Developing an intimate knowledge of what happens when incey-wincey spiders go up spouts
12) Singing about wheels on busses. They gone ’round & ’round, apparently. Who knew?
13) Using my iPod Touch to help babies get to sleep
13) Developing complex & detailed baby-calming strategies including, but not limited to, hair, face, nose, neck, tummy, back stroking; whispering; pseudo-hypnotic techniques; singing; holding; letting go; rocking; walking
Yes I know there are 2 ’13’s; I was born on the 13th so it’s sort of my lucky number. And I just like to be bolshy sometimes.
14) Having to buy & charge more batteries than I thought even a gadget-freak would ever need
15) Getting more exercise than I have in years just from lifting babies in & out of cots, carrying them up & down stairs, playing games carrying them on my head / shoulders / back, bench-pressing them. I should be ready for London 2012 at this rate.
16) Becoming an expert in the dark arts of flat-pack cot assembly / disassembly / reassembly.
17) Watching a lot less TV, & not missing it (much).
18) Making “brrmm brrmm” noises while pushing a twin buggy
19) Being vomitted on. A lot
20) Loving being a Dad of twins 🙂
* WP kept converting the number eight into an emoticon & wouldn’t listen when I tried to explain “it’s just a number!”
- One-in-four British children ‘never’ play outside (newslite.tv)
- Babies Are Good for Consumerism (l3montree.wordpress.com)
- Birdwatchers are a rare breed (guardian.co.uk)