The Nappy Continuum

Jake’s reluctance to stop doing whatever he happens to be enjoying seems to be getting worse.

He’d needed to have his nappy changed for some time & had resisted all our efforts at doing so. If he was a Sim he would have had a huge cloud of green gas following him around wherever he went.

We knew it was a bad one as for some time he’d been walking around like John Wayne after a 24-hour horse-ride. Over shingle. Also at one point we’d caught him leaning against the door-frame doing his best Samson impersonation. Not to mention that when we said “Jake, have you done a poo?” he said “No, I doing it!”. Which is unusual, as usually he denies all knowledge.

The Mummy & Ellie had gone upstairs to get ready for bed; we told Jake that if he wanted to join them Mummy had to come downstairs to change him first. (The division of labour in our house for such things is generally that the Mummy does the nappies & I do the potties).

He finally decided he would go up – ‘Wild Columbia with Nigel Marven’ just wasn’t doing it for him I guess – so the Mummy was set to come down & do the business.

“No!”, he cried, “I want Daddy to change my nappy!”.

I’m always prepared to take one for the team, so reluctantly I agreed & shouted the good / bad (depending on your perspective) news upstairs.

But no! Then it was: “I want Ellie to change my nappy!”.  At which point of course I realised that this had just been a delaying tactic. Or a joke. Probably both.

What was that about being outsmarted by a 2-year-old?

This new development was again faithfully relayed upstairs. Mostly because I thought it was very funny.

The look of shock, surprise, confusion & horror on Ellie’s face was, I’m told, priceless. But, little trooper that she is, she straight away appeared at the top of the stairs to say: “I’ll be there in a minute! We’re watching Goldilocks”.

She would have had a go too; I just wouldn’t want to be there to see it. Or worse, to clean up afterwards.

I did get to enjoy the privilege of changing him after all, & yes: it was very messy & very smelly. And then Jake trotted off upstairs. Where they all enjoyed watching Goldilocks, probably. And I had to go out into the cold & the pouring rain, in the dark, trudging through the mud & long grass to the bin at the bottom of the garden carrying a very smelly nappy & its associated detritus.

Ah well, at least I still have Nigel…

Update: This morning I suggested to Jake that he change Ellie’s nappy; he was having none of it. And if I hear anyone say “typical man!” I shall be cross…

Update 2: Today we ended up watching most of 2 episodes of ‘Wild Colombia with Nigel Marven’ & we all really enjoyed it. The twins especially liked the bit where a snake bit our Nigel on the nose.


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