Hi. I’m ‘JallieDaddy’: not your average kind of Dad.
Fairly late in life I became a Dad for the first time, to twins: Jake & Ellie; collectively, & rather foolishly, known (to me) as ‘Jallie’ .
Born slightly prematurely overall their health was good but they both had what we later found out to be reflux. Ellie had acid reflux & threw up after every feed; Jake had silent reflux, which resulted in convulsions. They each needed to be held for at least half an hour after every feed, & a lot of TLC.
The Mummy & I were both full-time parents for their first year; I was the primary carer for their 2nd.
There are an increasing number of stay-at-home & hands-on Dads – more power to them! There are many Dads of twins. And of course older Dads. But there can’t be too many who are all 3. That was one of the reasons I started this blog; in the hope that whatever experiences I had might be of interest to others: Dads, Mums, or those just looking.
It didn’t quite work out as I‘d hoped; a lot of the time I was just too tired!
Not only that but ‘Jallie’ and the blog clearly conspired against me to decide that the blog would be very different than what I had planned. It was supposed to be about how my unusual version of fatherhood was changing my life: like my having to use “whiskey for aftershave” during my wife’s pregnancy.
But guess what? It turned out that it wasn’t about me. (I can hear a chorus of female voices saying “Typical man!”: harsh! But probably fair.)
No, it’s been was about them, Jake and Ellie. Mostly. They have a habit of stealing every scene they are in!
Sadly, however, our lives have taken another dramatic turn. Since 2013, when the twins were just three, my wife and I separated. They now mostly live with her, and I see them part of 2 days a week, on average. I still love them dearly, of course, and they me (or so they say!), and we still have great times together – but I miss them. I miss our being a family.
It’s taken me a long time to open up about this; I guess I was always waiting for ‘the right time’. There never is a ‘right time’, of course. Maybe I was hoping that ‘things’ would ‘work themselves out’ and that we could be a family again. They may do – who knows? – but it hasn’t happened yet.
This blog has been relatively inactive as a result, which I also regret. Friends had been telling me that I should open up and start writing again, and I think they were right. It’s been 5 years: if not now, when?!
I enjoy writing; I especially enjoy writing about life with the twins, (now 8); I enjoy blogging.
Also? I can’t afford therapy…
So here is more Whiskey For Aftershave, just of a different vintage. After all, the contents of the bottle of JD I used way back then are long gone! (Although I’ve kept the empty bottle: how could I not?)
Please read and I hope enjoy, and if you do please let me know! Maybe some may even learn from my experiences. That would be brilliant.
Just try to consume responsibly please.
To contact me you can email me at: whiskeyaftershave at yahoo dot co dot uk , leave a comment here or follow me on twitter @TheJDaddy