Ellie, ever observant, noticed this – probably because Jake was standing on it at the time – and asked me “Daddy, why have you got that – ” Me: “treadmill?” “yes: ‘treadmill’?”
I actually have this slightly mad idea of using it as I play my favourite Xbox game, Skyrim, so that I walk as my character does, run when he does, & sit down in the Inn and drink ale as – well, actually I probably do enough of that already, & that’s probably why I need the thing in the first place…
I was explaining to her what a treadmill does and why I need it. I believe the words “big fat belly” may have been used, again. Possibly.
Her response took me by surprise.
“But daddy, it doesn’t matter what you look like, it matters that you’re kind”.
Wise words for a 5-year-old, and definitely a Magic Moment!
On Saturday we went to a local fun farm. Inside it has a great adventure playground, & nifty little racing cars; outside there are farm animals to feed, walks & another playground.
There’s a fantastic high slide that Jake & Ellie love to go on. The problem is to get to it you have to climb over a high rope-bridge. It has big holes, no flat ‘floor’, is quite a long way up & is wobbly.
The slide doesn’t phase them at all (even though it’s supposed to…) – they love it!
So it’s my job to stand by the rope bridge & carry them over, wait for the next one to run up the stairs, & repeat. Sometimes they insist I go down the slide with them.
It’s quite tiring!
But that’s OK; it’s not as if I don’t need the exercise…
Not this time: Ellie went over all by herself!
She actually had to psych herself up. She sat for several minutes watching other children cross, making several attempts to go, then sitting down again. Every time I offered my hand she complained & refused my help.
I am so often in awe of her, & Jake. “Are they even my kids?!” I wonder sometimes! (I’ve checked – they are, honest.)
She was clearly scared, but determined to do it.
After some time her determination overcame her fear, she got up & she walked over – all by herself – again refusing all offers of help, even while clearly scared.
It took a while, & there was a little queue of surprisingly patient children stretching out behind her, but she did it!
Every subsequent crossing was quicker & more confident; now she walks over as if it was a stroll down the hall.
When Jake saw what was going on he had to follow suit, of course. That’s pretty normal with these twins of ours!
7) Becoming an expert on Poo: move over Chris Packham! Did you know that there are many different types of baby poo? There’s… (Internal Censor: “Shut Up”)
That’s enough about Poo I think. Most of the above also applies to Wee, so we can skip that part…
Eight)* Saying “Did you remember the helicopter?” & meaning it
9) Spending a significant proportion of my days blowing raspberries, going “wibble wibble” & pulling silly faces
10) Singing CW McCall’s “Convoy” while going up & down stairs with the rest of my bonkers family, the 2 small ones in hysterics
11) Developing an intimate knowledge of what happens when incey-wincey spiders go up spouts
12) Singing about wheels on busses. They gone ’round & ’round, apparently. Who knew?
13) Using my iPod Touch to help babies get to sleep
13) Developing complex & detailed baby-calming strategies including, but not limited to, hair, face, nose, neck, tummy, back stroking; whispering; pseudo-hypnotic techniques; singing; holding; letting go; rocking; walking
Yes I know there are 2 ’13’s; I was born on the 13th so it’s sort of my lucky number. And I just like to be bolshy sometimes.
Also: when The Bloggess does a list she always misses out ’13’, so I need to even things out. Don’t judge me, y’all: I’m just balancing the Cosmos 😉
14) Having to buy & charge more batteries than I thought even a gadget-freak would ever need
15) Getting more exercise than I have in years just from lifting babies in & out of cots, carrying them up & down stairs, playing games carrying them on my head / shoulders / back, bench-pressing them. I should be ready for London 2012 at this rate.
16) Becoming an expert in the dark arts of flat-pack cot assembly / disassembly / reassembly.
17) Watching a lot less TV, & not missing it (much).
18) Making “brrmm brrmm” noises while pushing a twin buggy
19) Being vomitted on. A lot
20) Loving being a Dad of twins 🙂
* WP kept converting the number eight into an emoticon & wouldn’t listen when I tried to explain “it’s just a number!”
Some of you may have read my post "I'm Not Fat, I'm Sympathetically Pregnant!" from way back in February. Briefly, while my wife was pregnant I looked a bit as if I was too. And as far as I’m concerned I had a damn good excuse!
Now that the twins have turned up my ‘baby weight’ has mostly gone too: carrying two increasingly heavy little people up & down stairs many times every day will do that to you!
You may have noticed that I said “mostly”. Raising these little guys is wonderful but can also be pretty stressful at times. Being drunk in charge of babies is, for me, a big No-No; and given that I often suffer from baby-induced sleep-deprivation more than a bevvy or 2 is just likely to send me off to sleep. And the sweet-tooth that reared its sugary head & pumped up my belly (apologies for the slightly unpleasant mixed metaphor) during my Sympathetic Pregnancy remains. So these days during times of stress the bar I’m more likely to make a bee-line for is a chocolate one.
So it was by a happy coincidence that this month’s issue of FHM comes with a free Bionic magazine, packed with tips for getting fit the easy way from some of Britain & the world’s top sportsmen. England & Leicester rugby star Toby Flood; arguably the best footballer in the world, Barcelona & Argentina’s Lionel Messi; & Britain’s best Mixed Martial Arts fighter Michael ‘The Count’ Bisping, to name a few, all share their secrets.
I couldn’t help but notice though that World Champion Heptathlete Jessica Ennis is also on hand for a personal training session. Those who know me well should already realise which of those I’d choose for some 1-on-1 training! Her 9-point guide to fitness is really down-to-earth & something that anyone, me included, can fit into a busy day in some form or other. She's also particularly good with the mental, as well as the physical, side of getting fitter. Her guide is already pinned to my wall…
So if you fancy getting fit with with Toby, Lionel, The Count, Jessica & other top athletes FHM is out now, also including features on Skins, career advice, lesbian ballerina sex (yes, really) & smartphone addiction.(I wonder if they’d read my post about Twittadiction?). You can get £1 off by ordering online; for more information go see Nicole. 🙂